Living A Life That’s Golden

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I’m taking my freedom

Pulling it off the shelf

I’m taking my freedom

Wherever I choose to go

It will take me far

I’m livin’ my life like it’s golden

Livin’ my life like it’s golden, golden

I’m taking my own freedom

Putting it in my song

Singing loud and strong

Grooving all day long

I’m taking my freedom

Putting it in my stroll

I’ll be high-steppin’ y’all

Letting the joy unfold

“Golden”, by Jill Scott


Do you know that song from the goddess Jill Scott?  It’s really good.  I first saw Jill at Jazz Fest in New Orleans nearly a decade ago with a soul sister and she blew my mind; such powerful positive energy!  I shared the lyrics to her song  “Golden” because that is how someone I love very much lived his life, and it’s also how others have,too.  But before we go there, I would like to ask you some questions.

Who came into your life unexpectedly?

Who holds a key to your heart?

Who has made an impact on your life in ways you never expected?

Who has given you gifts that you can never repay?

Who has taught you some of your greatest life lessons?

Who would you do anything for?

For me, one soul that fits all of these is the focus of this post’s discussion.  His name is King Albert the Grey.

I wish you knew him.  In fact, I wish the world knew him the way I do.  He is a king. A badass.  A warrior.  He is a friend to few, a lover of fewer, and a Great Love of mine.

Please allow me to share why he is the King of our wee kingdom.

Note:  Below is an excerpt (and a very abbreviated version) of a chapter from my book about caring for senior cats.  This is one of my longer posts, so get comfy with your critters and settle in.  Oh, and you might need a tissue, too.


During the spring of 2005 a rather intimidating stray cat the size of a bobcat began sneaking into our house, via the cat window that my zookeeper boyfriend had designed. Our cats Mr. Beaux (a melanistic Siamese, and Samantha, a semi-feral cat) were free-roaming cats at the time; oh how things have changed!  

My roommate, the head Sea Lion trainer at work, would come home nearly every evening and find one of the neighborhood strays in our house.  As soon as she opened the front door this huge cat would come hauling butt out of our house!  We named this brute “Big Fat Grey Cat” (BFGC) because he was big, fat, and grey.  Not a clever name, I know. But we didn’t care. We just wanted him gone.  This shamelessly bold stray cat had a habit of creeping into our home, eating the cats’ food, playing with their toys, and pooping in their litter boxes!   I was livid.  And our cats were really starting to freak out.   So, one day I decided to put an end to the shenanigans.  I was going to catch this creepy cat in the act.

On my next day off I pretended to go take a nap on my bed, right next to the cat window where we assumed he was entering.  My plan was to scare the crap out of this cat so he would never come back.  As I laid there on my bed, I soon heard the chair below the cat window on the porch move (I knew he had hopped into the chair at this point).  I laid as still as a could with one eye open.  Within moments a huge grey head peaked through the rubber window flaps.  His long grey whiskers and ears were pushed forward fearlessly.  His bright yellow eyes were as wide as saucers, scanning the room.  I quickly closed mine, pretending to be asleep.   At this point, the only way this cat could enter the house was to literally walk over my legs.  That’s when I would pounce like a panther, forcing him to retreat and never come back!

I waited for him to step over my legs.  My heart was racing.  His must have been too.  I laid there for what seemed like forever, waiting for him to step between my legs.  To my utter shock and surprise this ballsy stray cat carefully began to lay himself down on my bed just inches away from my feet.

 “What in the world was happening here?!?!”, I thought to myself.

Both appalled and amazed, I opened my eyes and looked right at him, thinking my direct stare would surely scare him off.  As he continued to gingerly settle into the bed, he slowly glanced at me, gave me a slow blink, then turned his head slightly away from me, still maintaining his posture of confidence, but keeping his full awareness on me.

 “This cat had some nerve!”, I thought. “Who the hell does he think he is?!?”

 He knew who he was.  He was a King.  And he had just claimed my bed.  

And clearly this house.

Something came over me.  The plan of executing an angry attack on this creepy cat had changed.  I had gone from a human hunter waiting for her prey, to a curious cat lover wanting to understand what was happening in my home.  I took the bait. 

I looked at him.  He looked right at me, but with a gentle energy.  His eyes were softer.  He truly felt as if he was politely asking permission to just be there, on my bed with me, in our loving home.   I could feel and sense that he had no malice or ill intent.   He was asking for my permission to stay.  So, I took a deep breath, opened my heart to him, and said, “Well hello there.”

 For nearly six months after that, Big Fat Grey Cat stayed near our home.  It was all still very odd and a bit unsettling to me.  He was, as everyone knew, the neighborhood bully.  He was a brutal fighter and killer.  He literally captured and killed every prey animal he came across and consumed it in plain sight.  He fought every dog he saw, and every cat that was careless enough to come close to him.

 I vividly remember one examples of his fearless ferocity.  One afternoon while cleaning dishes, I looked out the kitchen window to discover BFGC standing in our driveway with a huge snake in his mouth!  I hollered at him, pounding on the window, hoping he would drop it (I am a HUGE lover of snakes!).  BFGC barely glanced over at me, intent on keeping his prey secure in his mouth.  I raced outside to rescue the snake from the jaws of death.  Big Fat Grey Cat stood his ground with the snake wrapped around his neck and head …


The rest of that story will be shared at a later date.  The point is, being a fearless hunter, an endless explorer, and an unapologetic badass was in Big Fat Grey Cat’s DNA.  Do you remember the infamous scene in Pulp Fiction at the end, with “the wallet”? (you only need to watch it until 1:05 to get the point.)  If this cat carried a wallet, that’s the kind that King Albert the Grey would have had.  It’s who he was.  He had no fear.  None.  Not for the 17 years of life that I knew him.  He lived for a thrill.  He took risks.  He never stopped exploring.  He was a badass.

But here’s what really captured my heart:  He followed sensitive, scaredy pants Mr. Beaux everywhere (which really freaked Beaux out), but he was always kind to Beaux; he never raised a paw and he let him lead.  He gave Samantha the extra space she required, and he knew when to keep his distance from our guests.  And he never came back inside through the cat window; he always asked to come in through the front door.  He even welcomed me home when my truck pulled into the driveway.

He adopted us as his family.

But I still wanted to know where he came from, and why he chose us, so I did some investigating.  It turned out, his owner was an elderly man that had become too weak to care for him and his brother, so BFGC and his sibling were left homeless.  He was truly looking for a new home, and he chose us.  I also know now that my grandmother In Spirit sent him our way (more on that later).   Eventually we embraced him fully into our family but that came much later, during and after Hurricane Katrina, and our evacuation adventures together.   I talk all about this much more in the book.   All you need to know now is that he was discarded onto the streets and became king of the streets.  He was once unwelcome, but we welcomed him.   He once intimidated us but we learned to see his softer side.

He ruled the streets with a grey iron paw, but wanted a loving home with us.  He was a ruthless hunter, but had a heart of gold for his companions.   He ruled his world with confidence, bravery, determination, focus, and strength.  He was unapologetic in every decision he made.  He understood the importance of healthy boundaries.  He was respected by all who encountered him.  He was both feared and admired, yet he could care less of what others thought of him.  He was loved by those who knew him, yet he loved only a few.  He was choosy with affection, in charge of his kingdom, and capable of attaining anything we wanted.  He truly was a great king.

This beloved King left our home for a new kingdom on the night of March 31, 2017.

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There are souls who come into this world to be the catalyst for change, healing, and growth.  And even fewer who can be fully understood for what they offer, what they embody, and who they truly Are.  King Albert the Grey was all of this and more to me.  He was my friend, my muse, my feline companion, my teacher, and my guide.

And he still is.

The death of his body has not caused any of that to change.  He is still all of this and more.  Those subjects will be shared in much greater detail at a later date.  For now, I want to focus on the manner in which he lived his life, instead of how his physical life ended.

My intent today is to focus on how he chose to live before he became the king of our household; back in the distant days when he had the freedom to choose absolutely anything.  King Albert’s former feline life played a key role in what occurred in the days, weeks, and months before he left our world for a new one.  After 17 years, King Albert The Grey’s feline life came full circle.

My intent is to share why it’s important to recognize the life he once lived.  How he lived his life as King of New Orleans’ streets (prior to becoming an indoor house cat) affected how King Albert was invited to live his life before he left this world.

This is how his Golden Years came to be.


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I have written about Albert before, and also about how we shouldn’t wait until it’s too late.  I’ve shown why I.E.P.s are a vital part of helping cats to age with grace and ease, and how senior and geriatric cats can greatly benefit from gentle novel foraging activities. But what I haven’t shared with you, is the transformational  Life Force behind one’s Love of Life.   King Albert’s love of life was one of the driving forces that fueled him; not only in his youth, but well into his senior and geriatric years.

This is what I offered him in his last life chapter.

He didn’t want, or ask for our pity, our worry, or our sadness for his health challenges and complications.  He never did in his youth, and he certainly didn’t as he aged.  He saw and felt beyond all of that.   He wanted to FEEL ALIVE, no matter the age.  He wanted to experience all that he could, despite his age.  He wanted the kind of life challenges he had in his youth.

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King Albert in 2005

Albert lived with vigor and fearlessness in his younger years.  Challenging himself and trying new things set his feline soul on fire.  King Albert was most alive when he could choose to go, be, and do, anything!   But even as his body began to fail him, he never let go of his love for life.  Albert embraced this vigor, well into his geriatric years.  I was in awe of him every day.  Truly in awe.  No matter what was going on in his body, he was at peace in his mind and his heart.  He didn’t let discomfort bring him down.  He was always ready for more.   Even on days when he could barely get up, he got up.

He never gave up.

And I never gave up on him.  Not for one moment.   Albert overlooked the body.   He taught me how to do this.  I learned to see beyond his aging, struggling body to the young, vibrant soul who was within.  I learned to trust him.  I let go of trying to control everything.  I learned to let him lead me.

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Look at your animal companions right now.   How would you describe their Love for Life?  What makes their heart sing?  What makes their soul soar?  Who were they in their younger years?  Who, what, when, and where did they enjoy most?  Do you have images of them from back then?  Find them.  Look at them with your animal companion and your family.  Find and SEE that young spirit that is alive within them now.  Ask your beloved what they want.   How would they want to spend their last days, weeks, months, or years?  What would their Golden Years become if they could choose?  What would they want to have, be, see, or do if you would allow it?  Who are they at heart?? Can you see their vibrant soul within their aging body??

It’s still there.

This is some of what Albert taught me when his body began to fail.  Recognizing his vibrant youth within a geriatric body and constantly seeing beyond his body was one of the greatest gifts I could give him every moment of our days together.  Recognizing his innate feline needs, acknowledging his heart’s desires, and how much he LOVED life was what I needed to see, feel, and know.  Once I finally recognized these, I was able to give him what he needed.

I gave him a life that was golden.

I knew who King Albert was and what he wanted in his golden years.   I knew because I knew him back in his youth.  All of those adventures and escapades he had never left him; he still wanted to have those even as he aged.  He still wanted to try new things.  He wanted to live bravely and fiercely, even at 17+ years of age.  Albert wanted to be able to relish everything that life had to offer him.  The scents on the breeze;   The grass, soil, and sand between his paw pads;  The Earth’s healing energy under his body;  The warm sun on his face;  The wind in his whiskers.  These were some of his favorite things.  These are what Albert wanted every day of his life.

This is what I gave to him during his last days on Earth.

Below is a short film that I created as a tribute to our King Albert The Grey.  I hope it inspires you to give your aging animal companion a life that’s Golden.


Living a Life That’s Golden from Conscious Companion



My husband and I are both Make A Wish Granters; we have been serving in this role since 2009.  This role has been life changing for me. The incredible and unique wishes that are granted to children and their families during their most challenging times change all of their lives forever.   What we gave to our King Albert during his life threatening illness is very similar to what families of children with life threatening illnesses are able to experience through The Make A Wish Foundation.  When these amazing children are faced with constant medical procedures, daily/hourly medical care, and the stress of illness, they need a release from the emotional and physical discomfort! So Make A Wish gives them their One True Wish.  Not only is the child able to participate in their deepest heart’s desire, and receive a reprieve from the medical monotony, but so does their family.  The child, parents, and siblings are One throughout the entire process; everyone needs a break, and a chance to celebrate life together!

This is very similar to what people go through with their pets when they are going through a life-threatening illness, or when they are living their last days on Earth.  Round the clock medical care at home can be mentally and physically exhausting for everyone in the home.  Both people and all the animals need a break from the constant focus of sickness; we need a time of celebration. We need to let them Live Their Life, even in the  midst of sickness.

We have the power to grant our beloved their One True Wish.

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“ I’ve learned to heed the call of the heart.  I’ve learned that the safest path is not always the best path. I’ve learned that the voice of fear is not always to be trusted.” ― Steve Goodier


Think about this. When your dearest friend or family member is leaving for a better opportunity, or the time has come for them to move on because of life circumstances, do you beg, cry, and plead for them to stay?  Or do you celebrate the time you had together and the time you still have left, by relishing every moment, every smile, every laugh?  Do you celebrate where they are headed?

Celebration and support is what our aging animal companions need from us.

Consider what you could create together when it’s time for your beloved to move on.  Rather than putting your energy and emotions into defeat, consider putting your energy into creating a celebration of the last days you have together!  What adventures and memories you will have! What a gift you will give them!

Please know that I am not being flippant about death by any means.  For goodness sake, I am an Empath; animals are my life and the emotions that come with them are not for the faint of heart.  Animals are my best friends and my family.  They are my heart.  But I have been in the depths of depression too many times to count when I had to suddenly say goodbye to my beloved in the past.

I finally know better.

Now I put all of my energy into loving and celebrating every moment with them.  Now I am focused on creating love and joy with them, instead of drowning in sorrow.  And I can promise you this: If you saw, felt, and knew where they were headed, you would throw one helluva party every damn day with them.  Wherever you are in this process, there is no time to waste while they are still with us.

Celebrate their life while they are still here!

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Not only did I give Albert every adventure he asked for near the end, I also gave him my unconditional love, endless support, and patience.  This love came in many forms.  From Hospice care at home, including force-free medical care multiple times a day (voluntary injections, fluids, and oral medicine).  And not once was he forced to participate; we were a team from the get-go.  This love also came in the form of finding the best holistic vet, to working in collaboration with the best feline medical hospital and their amazing team who let Albert set the pace.   This love came in the form of alternative, holistic medicines and energy healing.   This love came in the form of me consciously managing my energy, removing my fears, and learning to let go of control and trust him.  This love came in the form of creating a deeper connection and soulful communication with him every day.   This love and patience came in the form of allowing him to choose in every circumstance.

This love led us together into our best last days together.  This love allowed him to live his golden years with grace and ease.  We gave it our all with love.  We never gave up on each other.   Love led us to each other, and Love helped us all to lead him Home.

This love lead him Home to The Light.

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Although it has been just over a week since he left his kingdom here for his new Kingdom in the heavens, the grieving process is still occurring.   I am remembering to be gentle with myself, to be conscious of managing my energy, who I interact with, what I allow into my awareness, and the manner in which I continue to fully accept this hand of fate.  Although I have not written here in a few months, I felt it was important to share this with you now, especially while I am still processing his passing and honoring his incredible, full life and the lessons he taught me.

These lessons are now being shared with you.

If you, or someone you know is struggling with an aging animal companion, take heart.  Do not forget for one moment that you and your beloved are connected in heart and mind.  When we are faced with the certain (or uncertain) fate of our beloved animal companion we have two choices.  Listen well, and remember this.  We can choose to fall into fear, or we can choose to lift ourselves and our beloveds in Love.

In every moment, we have a choice.

No one else can make this choice for us.  It is ours and ours alone.  We can cry over the circumstances or we can embrace them fearlessly.  We can choose to stay angry and resentful about what’s in front of us or we can choose to celebrate their last days on Earth with them.  We can find creative solutions, or we can give up.  We can choose to accept defeat, or we can choose to proceed ahead together with an open heart of acceptance.   We can sink into the swamps of sadness that steal our joy, or we can stand tall, walk with our beloved joyfully, and celebrate every breath together.  We can choose to stare into the face of their declining mental and physical health and become burdened with despair, or we can keep searching for solutions.  We can choose to see sickness and death, or we can choose to see beyond their body; we can see, feel, sense, and know their vibrant soul within.  We can give up or we can give them a life that’s Golden.

We get to choose.

When we choose to let go of fear (anger, sadness, control, etc.) we let them (and fearless Love) lead.  When we find peace, we give them permission to live their last days in peace.  When we see beyond their body we are giving them the greatest gift; we are recognizing and remembering who they really are.  When we learn to listen to their needs, their requests, and their wishes, we are honoring them and respecting them.  When we honor and love ourselves through these challenges we are also honoring them, for We Are One.

Ea Nigada Qusdi Idadadvhn 

(Cherokee for “All my relations in creation”)

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One of the promises I made to King Albert the Grey before and during his transition was to live my life the way he did:  To be brave and fearless, to set clear and firm boundaries, to love unconditionally, to embrace each day, to never waste a moment in sadness, to remember our True Home, to love and appreciate family, to never put things off for later; to seize the day, and to relish every moment, to be focused and determined, to collect memories not things, and to celebrate the gift of life.  One of his clearest messages is to never put off what I can give to myself and others today and to have amazing adventures every damn day!!!  This is what I have been doing every day since he left this world.

It has already begun to change my life.

The all-too-familiar soul crushing sadness has not been my constant companion, like it has been countless times in the past.  Depression, stagnation, and sadness have been replaced with gratitude, celebration, and joy!  I feel unconditional love when I see him in The Light.  I feel gratitude when I celebrate his new Home in his new Kingdom.  I find joy when I remember where he is and what he gave to our family.  I feel overwhelmed with humble appreciation when I recognize that he is now my constant guardian.   And I feel alive, as Albert did, when I get up every morning and seize the day.


“We must be able to look forward in old age to the next day and to look forward to the great adventure that is  ahead.” -Dr. Carl Jung


I love you, King Albert.  You ruled our kingdom with strength, grace, and dignity through your very last breath here on Earth.  I know you are doing this now, in your new world.  When your fierce and brave Spirit was released from your body you were in my arms at home.  It was an honor, but it broke my heart.   The grief was almost to much to bear again.  But then my heart began to heal when I remembered:  Who you are cannot die.

You are now in a state of grace forever.  You are now a warrior of Light. And every moment that I honor you and the Truth of who you Are, all of our hearts and minds are healed.

Be well, brother.  May you never stop expanding, and may your adventures never end!

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There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open. -J. Nehru

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This post is only one aspect of our journey together before he transitioned.  I will share more about these pieces in the future.  These topics include:

• Cat Harness Training – safe walks without fear and frustration for everyone

• Getting Real Consent (force-free medicine, medical procedures, and end of life choices)

• Hospice for Animal Companions

• Natural Death – Assisting with Their Transition at Home

• Utilizing Soul Speak for Life’s Challenges

• Death – The Great Divide or Daring Adventure?

All of these topics will be included in detail in the book, but I will do my best to share them here as time allows.




The picture gallery below is a beautiful reminder that we have the power to create miracles and magic during trying times. We CAN give our animal companions a Golden Life, no matter where they are on their journey.  An aging body and life-threatening illness doesn’t have to be the end of their days.  These circumstances can be the beginning!

We can grant their One True Wish (and a hundred more)!

The animals pictured in this gallery have passed on (some very recently), but but the grief of their passing is surpassed by the love and adventures their people gave them during their last days on Earth.  The gifts these souls were given will remain in their hearts and minds for all time.  Their people knew what they needed, wanted, and wished for; they gave it to their beloved animal companion.  During their last days on Earth they all lived a Golden Life.

Click on the images to read how these super souls spent their last days on Earth.


If you would like to share how you gave your beloved a Golden Life before they passed on, you are welcome to contact me.  I will be adding more pictures as the stories of love and celebration come in, so feel free to share their story.

Be well, friends.  Love each other.  Appreciate and celebrate every moment with your beloveds.  Don’t waste a moment.  Create adventures and memories now.  These will be part of the love they bring with them into their next life!  The time for celebration is NOW!

Their World of Gratitude

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There is always Light behind the darkness.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

 

Hello.  I hope this finds you and yours doing very well and at peace.  I hope wherever you are in the world you are enjoying the holidays and the changing seasons of life.

You may have noticed that I have been absent in sharing with you for many weeks.  Things on our end have been nonstop and challenging, to say the least.  I haven’t had time to share here, continue writing my books, or working with clients.  I have made a few videos, but in general, all professional work has been on hold.

Since I last shared with you we have had many successes and a few scares.  We’ve had three birthdays in the house (woot!), four surgeries, one near-death experience (on a birthday), one reactive rover who trusts again (hallelujah!), funerals for fallen Marines, family and friends visiting, awards ceremonies, best friends battling cancer, and a multitude of other experiences.

But today I am allowing myself to take a break. Today I am choosing to channel my energy into this post in hopes that it will inspire and uplift you. Today I am focusing on something we often forget to focus on: gratitude.


Ever since we moved to California there has been one challenge after another. One struggle after the next. One illness after another. Pain. Heartache. Frustration. Exhaustion.

But that’s not the full story. That’s only part of the picture. There has been much more at play. There is another side to all the stress and strife.  The other side of the struggles are at the heart of this post.

Between the physical and emotional struggles there have been miracles and wonder.  There’s been growth, expansion, hope, strength, endurance, and bonding.  There have been life lessons learned, friendships forged, soul contracts at play, inspiration gained, and new horizons seen.  There have been unimaginable success, hard-fought healings, and life-changing growth on every level possible.

And through it all, somehow we have remained in gratitude. We come back to gratitude. And we remain there. Looking above it all, I am in awe.


Each one of the struggles and successes deserve a post in itself.  In fact, there will be several chapters dedicated to each of them in the books I am writing.  But for now, I will summarize a few of them because not only is there too much to cover in one post, but some stories are not ready to be shared with the world just yet. But they will be one day. I look forward to sharing that with you when the time is right.

Today I want to keep it simple.  I want to uplift and inspire.  My goal is to redirect our focus. And to see life from a new perspective. Even if it’s merely a glimpse.

Today I will be sharing something from the animal’s perspective.

I took the liberty to share not only what they have shared with me over the years, and what I have learned from them lately, but also what I perceive their truths to be.  All of this is centered on their idea of “Gratitude.”


“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson


 

Thanks and Giving Beyond November

I have discussed the idea of making room for gratitude before.  I have discussed why it’s so powerful, why we need it now, and why you deserve thanks.   But this post takes a new spin on a familiar topic.  And it curtails the many thanks and giving that some have been enjoying lately.

Here in the United States we just wrapped up Thanksgiving.  It’s a lovely time of year if you create the time to slow down and enjoy it.  I love seeing people smiling, sharing, and caring more this time of year.  I love seeing and hearing the words, “grateful”, “gratitude” and “thankful” tossed around like autumn leaves on the breeze.  An attitude of gratitude seems to permeate people.  It’s really quite beautiful.

But then it leaves.

Just as the vibrantly colored leaves float to the ground, briefly rest on the Earth and quickly dance off into the horizon, so too goes our gratitude.

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But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Gratitude can be an attitude that we embody during the most challenging times. Gratitude can be a cloak in which we cover a tired body.  Gratitude can be the breeze we choose to ride.  It can be the wind we set our sails to while riding the rocky seas.  Gratitude can sooth the most exhausted mind.  It can heal a broken heart.  It can change your world.  And it can radically change the world of our animal family members.

But we have to choose it.

Gratitude is not a gift. It is not reserved for the elite, the special, or the few.  It is who we are.  It is who you are without all of the other thoughts, beliefs and judgments.  Gratitude, like Love is always only a thought away.

I am reminded of this during every struggle.  In fact, I am reminded of Gratitude when I look at how the animals move through their lives.  I am reminded of the power of gratitude when I see them shine; when their light is brightest even when there is a dark cloud above them.  I am reminded of gratitude when they outshine me.

It’s as if all the world could be falling apart, but they somehow remain grateful in their heart.  They rise above it.  They see beyond temporary, fleeting circumstances. They know that this too, shall pass.  They know more than we realize and gratitude is their guide.


“Just an observation: it is impossible to be both grateful and depressed. Those with a grateful mindset tend to see the message in the mess. And even though life may knock them down, the grateful find reasons, if even small ones, to get up.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free


Gratitude as a Gift

I started thinking about how gratitude has pulled me out of my darkest depressions and my most intense anxieties over the years.  Gratitude has transformed boredom, frustration, fear, and anger into hope, trust, and joy.  I thought about how much there is to be grateful for, even during the darkest hour.  I thought about how gratitude has been a driving force pushing me through the past few months.

Then I thought about our animal family members.  I wondered what they might be grateful for this year.  I wondered how gratitude played into their perspective.  I wanted to really look into what they were thankful for, without stepping into the quicksand of anthropomorphism.  I wondered what they would say “Thank you” for every day.

What I discovered wasn’t a surprise; these aspects are all part of their journey and the story of their lives.  If the animals were to say “thanks” for the circumstances and gifts in their lives, their lists might include these:

  • Unconditional Love
  • The ability to let go
  • Hide and seek games
  • Seeing the world through innocence
  • Fireside snuggles
  • Seeing our people become stronger and fearless
  • Meals tailored to our individual needs
  • Foraging and hunting opportunities
  • Being unattached
  • Sharing our people’s bed
  • Play time
  • Knowing this world is temporary; a place away from our real Home.
  • Being unapologetic
  • Energy healing sessions
  • Holistic care
  • Animal communication
  • Living a force-free way of life
  • Being silly and goofy
  • Food used as a tool
  • Soul contracts being honored
  • Unexpected car rides in the Adventure Box
  • The ability to choose
  • Meeting nice people out and about
  • Healthy boundaries
  • Seeing my people happy and healthy
  • Getting permission to roll in smelly goodness
  • Overcoming illness
  • Watching our person learning to let go
  • Warm beds
  • Communicating on a new level
  • Smelling the scents on the breeze
  • Our person learning how hidden emotions affect us
  • Excellent boxes
  • Teaching our people new life lessons
  • Meditation moments
  • Knowing that our people are doing the best they can
  • Watching each other grow
  • Feeling the sun on our fur and face
  • Aging with dignity and grace
  • Soul mates
  • Unlikely friendships forged through trust
  • Just Being
  • Force-free medical care at home
  • Bonds that never break
  • Being seen as an individual
  • Polite play dates
  • Being listened to and heard
  • A loving home
  • Being near the one you love
  • Adventures
  • Being loved for who I Am

 

…Those were just a few of their “thanks” that came to mind.  These are a merely a snippet of what I have been honored to learn from them.  I am grateful.  I am humbled. I am honored.  And I am grateful for each of them.

Teachers. Gifts. Angels. Lights in the dark.  That is what they are to me.  This is some of what I am grateful for each day.  This is what I will focus on as we move through this life together. This is what I will remember when things get hard. When life is rough. I will remember these things and I will share their gratitude.

Our gratitude won’t end now that Thanksgiving has come and gone.  Our gratitude will last.  It will be within us 365 days a year.  And as we grow gratitude, we will pass it on to others. If you’re interested I made a quick video about this. You can view it here.


<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/193259849″>An Attitude of Gratitude 365</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/user31689127″>Conscious Companion</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>



 

What do you believe your animal companions are grateful for? What are the gifts in their lives? What supports their attitude of gratitude? What would be on their “thankful for” list?



Before I go, I would also like to share that I am grateful for you.  Thank you for being here. Thank you being a part of this community.  Thank you for reading, staying inspired, and for being willing to stay in an attitude of gratitude every moment of the day.

From our family to yours,

Much love and light


“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.”
― Meister Eckhart

carlsbad-sunset-conscious-companion
Sunset at our home

YouTube

 

The Never Ending (Moving) Story

“When efforts that are wisely executed, the situation and condition don’t affect the performance.” ― A.Patel

road-trip with pets
The long road less traveled on our Big Move with the Animal Menagerie

We have arrived in California!  Finally.  1.1 humans, 3.0 felines, 0.1 canine, 0.0.8 plants, and 0.0.2 vehicles  made it safely from the east coast to the west coast!  It only took us a MONTH to move out of our home in VA, drive across the country, and move into our home here in Cali, but we are here. And everyone is doing very well.

We must have had Falkor with us in spirit on our move out here because we had a lot of luck, magic, and miracles along the road less traveled.  We also had a lot of patience, gratitude, and very successful animal menagerie management tools and techniques at play.

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This is going to be a quick post, because we have been going nonstop since we got here, and we still have much more to do.  But I wanted to at least update my readers because you are dear to me.  Plus with all that is going down in the world, I wanted to share some Love Light.


I Proved Myself Wrong – In the Best Way Possible

I don’t like to prove others (or myself) wrong, but here goes.  Do you remember how scared I was about the move?  Did you read the post about how I was allowing ALL my fears to take over all of my perceptions of what would happen?  Well, that was a huge waste of energy. None of that happened.

But some other major mishaps did happen.

Here’s the abbreviated Bad News from our laborious move out West:

  • The moving company packed up our household goods (everything) out of our home, then moved it all into storage (unbeknownst to us for several weeks).
  • I lost my voice on Day One of The Drive. Then that evening I had full blown flu-like symptoms.
  • Knox Zydeco decided that riding in a car was no longer an option for him anymore. In fact, it was one of the most terrifying experiences of his life (We discovered this within minutes of leaving our temporary hotel in VA and setting out on the road.)
  • Albert managed to escape from a 4 inch gap in my car window and walk around my family’s cemetery while I was paying respects.
  • One of our cars broke down at 10:30 at night while driving through the Texas desert.
  • We lived out of 8 different hotels across the country for 24 days.
  • Once we arrived in Cali the movers took another 8 days to get here so we stayed in another hotel for a week.

Good times.

But that’s not where the seemingly never-ending moving story ends. There’s more. If you have been following this blog, then you know that I always focus on the positive in life and especially with our animal companions.  

So… Here’s the abbreviated GOOD News from our Big Move:

  • Our feline veterinarian was absolutely incredible at immediately responding to and diagnosing Knox’s Full-On-Freak-Out while we were in transit.
  • We now know how incredibly helpful (and safe) the right medications can be for fearful cats. And we learned that these are the same meds that people are prescribed for panic attacks and anxiety! (more to come on this important topic ).
  • I learned why one should never have a deep healing acupuncture session prior to moving across country (hence the flu-like symptoms).
  • Hocus Pocus had zero aggression, frustration or fear reactivity issues. I am so proud of her!
  • Our senior kitty boys were total rock stars; Beaux and Albert both did exceptionally well on the long 11 hour drives each day. And King Albert’s health challenges did not cause him any noticeable duress.
  • I was able to  visit my Cherokee ancestors’ royalty resting grounds (while Albert was busy escaping and roaming around the cemetery).
  • The animals were incredibly tolerant, patient, and calm in the many hotels, long road days, and with me being unwell the entire time.
  • There were no spats or fights (between the people or pets)! Not even a single swat or hiss.
  • There was only one (appropriate) growl from Hocus the ENTIRE time. (I will talk about close-quarter management techniques in another post.)
  • None of the animals became injured, lost, sick, or any other horrible scenario I had imagined. (Although, Albert was a close call).
  • My animal communication skills were put to the test and I passed with flying colors.
  • We all grew closer together during this trial.
  • Everyone did exceptionally well, considering how hard it was on all of us for such a long time.
  • They have all settled into our new home and are far exceeding what I thought they were capable of.
  • Everyone is thriving!

anything is possible_nothing is impossible

 

It’s All Been Worth the Time and Effort!

All of the techniques, tools, and behavior modification methods I have learned over the years of being an animal trainer, pet parent, and animal behavior consultant came into play during this long transition.  The methods I share with you and use with my clients were all put to the test.  Including some I had never tried before!  They were such a huge success.

All of my efforts have paid off.  What I thought was impossible was possible.  I didn’t believe the cats or canine were capable of coping.  I had anticipated the worst, but each of them found their way to SHINE during a very difficult and long process.  Each of them adjusted, adapted, and   They proved all of us wrong.  They were total champs.  At times they even seemed to understand that we were all in this together.

I am still in awe of them.  Conscious Companion 2016 Road trip

But that’s all I am going to write about for now.  In the near future I will be sharing with you how I was able to create and maintain safety, peace, and harmony during the Long Haul with each of the animals. I will also share how we have been able to help each of them to settle into our new dojo with flying colors (and with no flying fur!).  I can’t wait to tell you all about everything that’s working, and the new tools I have discovered. These tips and techniques will make such a huge difference for you and your companion animals.


Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.-Robert Collier


In Other News

I hope those of you in the U.S. and Canada enjoyed (and survived) the recent independence holidays. We are still experiencing bomb-like-fireworks nightly here, so we are continuing to help the animals cope with that.  If you need some suggestions to help your pets with post-Independence day celebrations, check out this post and this one as well.

If you were affected by the tragic events in Orlando (my hometown), my heart goes out to you.  Our friends and family still live there, so this really hit home for us. My mother was able to send her team of therapy dogs to help the first responders from that event. You can read about that here.   Now they are visiting with the Orlando community as their team is able, helping so many to heal.

Also, if you or anyone you know are either a HSP or an Empath, this Instagram page might be helpful.  As we move forward in the world, and as I continue to share here, I will spread as much love and light as I can.  With all of the drama, anger, and sadness we are witnessing unfolding in the world right now, we need more love.  We must uplift and love one another. When the world appears dark, we need to be The Light.  Remember that our animal companions are such perfect teachers for this.  They are pure unconditional love.

“There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.” ― Bram Stoker, Dracula


OH! Before I go, I wanted to share one more inspiring thing with you.  Here’s the view from our new backyard.  Gah! Can you smell the salt air and feel the sand between your toes??

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Well, I am off the watch tonight’s sunset. So Much love to you and yours!


“May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Looking at Fear

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear. – Gandhi

ACIM_new thoughts_no fear_choose love

Over the past few years I have written about fear often.  Whether it’s behavioral concerns that stem from fear in an animal, or fear of an animal, fear has always been one of my favorite subjects.   As animal guardians and animal stewards and caretakers, we are sometimes really great at recognizing an animal’s fear.  Sometimes we are not so great at recognizing when an animal is afraid, uncomfortable, or feels threatened, and we fail to help them feel safe.

In my life I have found that we can be blind to another type of fear; our own fear.  When I am working with a client and they are afraid, nervous, or anxious, their fear often impedes the progress of their pet’s behavior modification process.  When they are not able to be objective, unattached, or in a healthy mind set they allow fear to run the show.  I can attest to this being true in my life with pets as well.  When I allow fear to take over, I am no longer able to help anyone.

Rather than focusing on our animal companion’s fear issues, this post is going to discuss our fear and how it affects our world, and our animal companion’s world.


All fear comes from thought in the form of memory (past) or projection (future)


Changes in the Wind

We are moving soon.  Right now my husband is out in California looking for a new home for our family.  Moving is not new to our family.  We are in the Marine Corps so we are expected to pick up and relocate every 1.5 -3 years.  My husband and I both have Wanderlust, so it’s not such a bad gig.  But because we have a number of animals who share our home, it does complicate things, to say the least.

The Upside and Downside

Although moving is a huge pain in the derriere, we are grateful.  My husband has been selected for command (hence why we are moving a year earlier than expected).  This is an opportunity of a lifetime.  So needless to say, we are all proud of him and supportive of this opportunity.  My husband and I will be a command “team”, so to speak (they even sent us both to school to prepare for this new leadership role).

I am going to be quite certainly, in a whole new playing field.  (Deep Breath).  As if all of these new duties and expectations aren’t overwhelming enough, we have a house full of animals that have to be uprooted and replanted (again).  And this all begins soon.  

We pack up.  We move.  We begin a new life chapter.

 

Fear of What We Fear Most

As excited as we both are about this new chapter, fears have been coming up in unexpected ways.  Last week these fears hit their peak.  As the animal guardian for four (very complicated) critters, I am having my own issues with the move. Here in lies the problem.

You might be wondering, What is there to fear? You’re going to live by the beach! Hello!! That’s amazing!   Right?!   But somehow my fear of completely screwing things up for the animals is front and center.  My worries and concerns have been at an all-time high.  Rather than being in joy and gratitude for the next life chapter for our family, I have managed to come up with every possible scenario of how everything can go to crap.

Maybe one of the cats escapes en transit as we make our week long trek from the east coast to the west coast.  Maybe our sometimes grey grizzly bear of a geriatric cat backslides into his former health and behavioral issues.  Maybe our recovering-reactive-canine takes a deep dive back down into the mental Reactive Dog Canyon.  Maybe our youngest cat completely loses his mind after the week long journey of multiple hotels, constant car rides, a new unfamiliar home, and he takes a deep dive into Stressville, and urinary tract issues flare up again.

Those are only four of the countless hellish scenarios that I have concocted in my mind.  

Why was I imagining those scenarios? you ask.  Well, those scenarios have either happened before during times of stress, life’s upheavals, or “Hurrications”.  Or they could be possible considering each one of the animal’s individual histories.

But is any of this helpful?  Would focusing my attention and energy on any of those scenarios help my family?  Would worrying about what-could-go-awry help the animals? NO.   My wandering and all too creative mind has not been put to good use.  

In fact, it could be the very thing that blocks our family’s success.


 “You are far too tolerant of mind wandering.” – ACIM


 

Success AND Stress Are Both Dependent upon You.

Could you relate to those crazy scenarios that I concocted?  Do you catch yourself mind wandering like that when you have something coming up that is either stressful for you, your family, and animal companions?  Have you ever been very stressed and anxious about an upcoming medical procedure with a pet?  Do you become nervous or fearful when under pressure with a timeline or big changes with your family pets?

If you do, you are not alone. You, unfortunately, are just like the majority of people on this planet.  If you are living in fear and letting fear run the show, you, my friend are a hostage to fear.  And this bondage can affect the outcome of every challenge your family faces together.


Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves.


Who’s Driving Your Life?

I was out in the forest one day with Hocus and an old school song came on my playlist. All of a sudden it was as if I was hearing the song for the very first time.  I heard, understood, and felt the lyrics completely.  He was singing about how we let our ego and fear run the show in our lives.  But we don’t have to.  We can learn to take the wheel and drive.  We can take control over our fears.  We can decide that we are no longer hostage to our fears.  Here’s an excerpt:

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can’t help but ask myself how much
I’ll let the fear take the wheel and steer.

It’s driven me before, and it seems to have a vague
Haunting mass appeal.

But lately I’m beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel.

Whatever tomorrow brings
I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes.
…..

It’s driven me before and it seems to be the way
That everyone else gets around.
But lately I’m beginning to find that when
I drive myself my light is found.

~ Incubus, “Drive”

That song is exactly what I am getting at here.  We can let fear take over, and create all kinds of scenarios that result in unnecessary stress and worry. We can consciously create circumstances in which our animal companions (and we) become victims of our circumstances. 

 Or we can choose another way of looking at challenges: We can remember that we have the power to choose to take control over our fears, and release them. These fears have no power over us unless we allow them.


If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. -Marcus Aurelius


 take back your power _conquering fears

Fears Hinders Guidance, Inspiration, and Solutions.

Fear is rampant in our world.  It’s everywhere we look.  We are led to believe that fear is natural and should be embraced at times, but I disagree wholeheartedly.  Fear is not your friend.   Fear is harmful and it’s unproductive.  Fear hinders.  Fear clouds our minds and creates disharmony where there could be peace. 

Whether you are a person or a pet, fear can be debilitating.

Have you ever heard of the acronym of F.E.A.R. -False Evidence Appearing Real?   I had my own F.E.A.R. come up with this move and major life transition.   Once fear set into my mind I was unable to see solutions.   I was making assumptions, creating negative circumstances, and projecting my limiting beliefs onto the moving process, our new home, and our companion animals.

As an Intuitive Empath I have learned (the hard way) that fear blocks everything.  Fear taints. Fear stalls. Fear overrides. Fear impedes. Fear ruins. Fear blocks. 

Now I know that I am not in my right mind when I am in fear.  When I am in fear I am reacting, instead of observing. When I’m letting fear take the wheel and run the show I am not able to use my intuition and my guidance. Using my intuition and abilities are how I best connect with my environment.  It’s how I am able to navigate the world on a level that helps me to connect deeply, compassionately, and objectively with everyone and everything. But when I am in fear all of this guidance and inspiration is blocked.  When I am allowing fear to run the show, I am blindly navigating this crazy world.  

I am not different from you in this way.  This is true for every person.  Fear blocks everything.  Everything.

But when we can consciously remove our limiting beliefs, thoughts, perceptions, judgments, and projections, we are able to find solutions to problems, complications, and challenges that arise.  Our perception can make or break the process with our pets!


Perception is consistent. What you see reflects your thinking.  And your thinking but reflects your choice of what you want to see. -ACIM


 

A vintage, textured paper background with an earth to sky toned gradient.

The Power of Choice

I am passionate about allowing all species of animals to have the power to choose in every circumstance.  The ability to choose to participate or choose to walk away are choices that all living beings deserve the right to exercise.  But what about our power to make choices as their guardians?  We have the power to choose as well. And the choices we make affect their lives. Even the choices we make in our mind can have a powerful effect.

When a stressful event is on the horizon and you know that it’s going to affect your pets, you have choices to make.  We have the power to choose to be in fear or to release those fears. Whether you choose to stay stressed, anxious, or worried is your choice.  But what you choose will affect the experience and the outcome for all involved.  

The success of your family and your animal companions during times of change depends upon you and how you choose to prepare, address, view, and react during, after, and before the event.


Come what may. We are never victims of our circumstances. We can chose another way.


you get to choose_how the story ends_choose your own adventure.png

Choose to tell a different story.

Let’s get Back to the power of choice.   Your perception is everything.  You can choose to see the current or upcoming circumstances in a new light.  You don’t have to remain in fear.

I just did this myself with my insane, rampant fears surrounding our upcoming move out west.  After some intense inner work, I released my fears.  All of them.  I cried.  And I even laughed at a few of them.  Then I remembered to have compassion for myself for feeling and believing those fears.

Having compassion for the fears that you are perceiving about what “could happen” to your pets is imperative.  There is no need to judge yourself when these fears pop up.   But if something horrible happened in the past, it does not mean that it will happen again.  Do not create scenarios that are not desirable.  And do not drag the past into your present circumstances.

Choose to create a new story.  Choose how you want the story to unfold this time.    If there are preventative measures that you can implement, put them in place.  If you are not sure how to implement tools and techniques that will ensure the safety and success of you animal companions, there are qualified people who can help you.

Worry seems like a form of caring, but really it’s a rumination of ego-fear energy. It does nothing to help.  In fact, it can make things worse; worry is a form of prayer and manifestation that can call more negativity to you.   

I have started to see life’s challenges as one of those books from childhood that had those “choose your own ending” options. Do you remember those? I loved them. When things got a little hairy, I knew I could choose a different outcome.  Life challenges and upheavals with our animal companions can be like those choose-your-own-ending chapters. We can choose to write a new story.

If you now know better, do better. We do!  If you have learned from your mistakes in the past, move on.  We have. But if fear is running your world, you won’t know how to do better. You won’t be able to move forward.   If fear is rampant in your mind you won’t be able to tell a different story.


I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
~Frank Herbert


 

Make-a-Difference_change your thoughts_ACIM

I finally cleared the clouds of fear that were clouding my judgment about our upcoming move.  I set aside my worst fears about the animals, and how I would fail them all. I released my fear of not measuring up. I let go of the negative and worrisome outcomes I had created in my mind.

I have decided to choose to move forward without fear.

I have remembered that I know what to do.  This is what I teach other families how to do with grace and ease!  I can do this.  And I will.  I am capable of doing it with grace, ease, and success within our own family.  I am willing to see the countless ways that we will all be successful.  I can now see that there is really nothing to fear.  I do have the power to create success with each animal, within myself, and for our family. I will remember to stay in gratitude at every moment. Gratitude will be my guide.

This is how I am choosing to experience our new life chapter.  This is how I am now choosing to view our animal companions in their new world.  A safe, empowered, and successful new life is the world that we will create for them.  This is the world they  will live in.  They will succeed.  They will thrive.  None of us will live in a world of fear.  We will be safe and sound.

green energy surrounding a heart


I decided I was safe.  I was strong.  I was brave. ― Cheryl Strayed, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail


 

Ready to Release, and Rock & Roll?

Are you ready to release your biggest fears?  I am.  And I hope you are, too.  This is part one of a four part post.  In the next post I will discuss how fear and emotions  affect the mind and body. And the following posts will cover how Fear and Stress Affects Our Pets, and in the last post I will offer Practical Advice and Tips You Can Use Before, During, and After a Big Transition with Pets. 

I am not listing these tips now for one very important reason: Before we put anything into practice, before we can think clearly and objectively, and before we are able to address any kind of behavioral or medical issue, we have to get fear out of the way.   Fear blocks.  Fear impedes.  Fear stalls.  Fear clouds judgment.  Fear is the root of failure.  Fear is not our friend.   Fear must leave. 

So for now, the first step is focusing on releasing any and all fears.  That is your first task at hand.  Then you can move forward fearlessly toward success.  You can do this.  Let go of your fears.  Live the life you were meant to live. Be brave. Trust. Let go.

 you get to choose_the power of choice



“I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. –
Cheryl Strayed


 

 

Provide Comfort When They Are Afraid.

Image

(Posted May 2014)

Have the Memorial Day weekend fireworks and celebrations started in your neighborhood yet?  They started here several nights ago, and none of the animals were pleased, to say the least.  As their guardian, it’s my job to take the time to help them cope with the onslaught of noise, and change they way they feel about those sounds.

Unfortunately, a lot of people believe this common myth:  Don’t comfort an animal when he/she is afraid; you’re only reinforcing their fears.

Here’s my science-based response to that myth:  Always Comfort the animal. You cannot reinforce Fear.  Ignoring their fear and terror is borderline neglect.

In this video you will learn (just the tip of the iceberg of) why we *should* be providing comfort when our pets are nervous or scared. You will learn why you *cannot* reinforce fear.

Fear is an emotion, not a behavior.  Comforting a fearful animal will not make the animal more afraid, and it will not “reinforce fear” (unless this is the only interaction the animal ever receives).   Petting, cuddling, or comforting an animal when they are afraid can help them — worse case, it may not do anything.  However, comforting them will not reinforce their fear.

Fact: Animals in a constant state of fear or stress are more susceptible to diseases, and their immune systems are not as effective (cited) .

Because of this, fearful animals must be helped. That’s where we, as their guardians come in.  In the video below Suzanne Clothier explains how and why:

So when the pops, cracks, booms and bangs begin, and you see that the dog/cat/bird, etc. is clearly frightened, remember to remain calm and comfort them.  You are their guardian and protector.  You can help them.  Providing comfort and a sense of safety is the sensible, loving thing to offer to anyone in need, especially our animal companions.

Learn more about why You Cannot Reinforce Fear in these links:

 

TRAINING TIP: A better approach than comforting alone, is investing some time on counterconditioning, a behavior modification technique meant to change the animal’s emotional response toward a feared stimulus by encouraging an emotion incompatible with fear. In Counterconditioning we use food to change the animal’s underlying emotional response to the perceived threat so that he/she learns that “scary things” are now good things. To “condition” means to teach, and to “counter” means to change.

—> If you would like to learn how to do this, check out my tips on how to help your pets cope during fireworks, HERE!


 

Don’t worry about rewarding a scared dog who is behaving ‘inappropriately’. You wouldn’t wait for someone who was drowning to stop screaming before you pulled them out of the water.   – Debbie Jacobs, author of “A Guide To Living With & Training A Fearful Dogs”

 


Do you have any tips for helping your animals when they are afraid? Please share below!