Author: Conscious Companion™

I Am a retired zoologist, professional animal behavior consultant, and published author. Enhancing the human-animal bond and supporting conservation are two of my greatest passions. I am also an Intuitive Empath and an Energy Healing Practitioner who utilizes Light Language for healing. Through blending science and spiritual truths, I enjoy inspiring, uplifting educating and unifying others. As my Cherokee heritage teaches, We Are One!

Justifying Judgement or Choosing to Compassionately Face Fears?

On By Conscious Companion™In mindfulness, Misperception Mondays!, Species SpotlightLeave a comment
The Cherokee Wolf Legend invites us to ask: Which Wolf Are We Feeding?

“The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”
– Gandhi

🎙NOTE: This can be listened to as an audio recording here.🎙

Hello, Friends!

Happy mid-March!  What are you up to this weekend?  I hope you’re up to something that brings you joy. I’m sure you’re aware that St. Patrick’s Day (Lá Fhéile Pádraig) is today, but did you know …?

  • The real St. Patrick wasn’t Irish.
  • He didn’t drive the snakes out of Ireland; many see this as symbolism for banishing the Celtic “heathens”.
  • Adding green dye to food/beer symbolizes not only the green countryside, but also the time of the Great Famine, when Irish people were so deprived of food they resorted to eating grass; their mouths were green as they died.
  • March 17th is also the feast day of the original Cat Lady (St. Gertrude, the Patron Saint of Cats).

➡ You can get all the Deetz about AllaDat in This Post

Hugging a new friend I met at New Grange, Ireland

We stand somewhere between the mountain and the ant. 
-Native American (Onondaga) Proverb

I share those St. Patrick Day facts with you because it’s just one of the many ways that we continue to follow traditions without questioning them. We let ancient beliefs and centuries of practices go unquestioned. Sometimes it’s harmless; other times it’s quite harmful. One particularly harmful example is the unquestioned belief in being superior to any species or group within a species is a belief to be undone.

That unquestioned belief is at the heart of this heartfelt post.

Speaking of judgey-judgements and blindly following the masses, I’d like to ask you about a common one that comes up in communities around the world. How do you feel when you read, hear, or see the word “Spider”? What does the sight of an insect do to you? What are your thoughts about Arachnids?

I ask because yesterday was Save A Spider Day.  Seriously, it’s a real day. And frankly, it should be.  It may seem as nonsensical to you as celebrating an unquestioned evangelical saint and green-food-dye-day is to me, but it’s important.

Hear me out …

In a previous post I explained the importance of questioning our thoughts, judgements, and beliefs.  I explained how it ripples out to the universe and how taking responsibility for this matters.  But questioning our thoughts and beliefs and judgments doesn’t end with our little lives.  

I believe it should extend to everything our eyes see.


This includes every being; strangers, spiders and such. This questioning of thoughts, emotions, and beliefs should include ALL beings with whom we share the universe.

Here’s an easy example: Yesterday, on our Conscious Companion Facebook page, I shared a wonderful teaching moment that Hocus Pocus & I had with some lovely Canada Geese. You can check that out here. That respectful experience between three species is just one example of how we can choose to change they way we treat others in every moment.

All creatures have value whether we find them cuddly, affectionate, beautiful or otherwise.  Our own perspective–in a way–is neither here nor there.  Theology, at its best, can help to liberate us from our own anthropocentric limitations.  – Rev. Dr. Andrew Linzey

I get it. Not all species are easy on the eye of the beholder.  And physical characteristics set aside, not everyone has had a positive experience with every species on the planet.  But the looming fact remains:  Whether you’re a person or pet, those early life experiences with any species (or lack thereof) need to be positive ones.

For example, if I were to choose to hang onto a grudge for the guard geese who used to attack me (while I was riding my bike to school) every day, I would be cruel or careless to the Canada Geese whom we encounter every day. And if I were never exposed to snakes early in life in a positive light, I would have never become a herpetologist who taught people to set aside their fear for the Slithering Ones.

Every experience adds up.
And so does every judgement, thought, and belief.

We don’t need to look far to see how hateful judgements and unquestioned beliefs deeply affect lives. Just this week we witnessed another attack, based in fear. This can end. But it has to begin within.

Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them. ~ Byron Katie

I believe change begins with changing the way we see the seemingly little things that scare us. The little frights are merely symbolic of greater fears. What scares us is an invitation to question our fear. What frightens us is an invitation to fearlessly look within. What evokes revulsion, terror, or hatred is an invitation.

What we are a afraid of is an invitation to inquire.

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears. – Rudyard Kipling

Last Night’s Fright Night

So, let’s get to the fearful fright we had last night. Do you follow synchronicity in your life?  I never understood what that meant until I learned about how powerful and transformative it can be.  Now I love how things are always In Sync.  Last night, there was a frightful sight in our house.  Then yesterday, I discovered it was Save a Spider Day!  That’s why I am so inspired to share with you now!

Ok, friend, find your comfy spot.  Grab a yummy drink. Invite a Cuddle Buddy. Settle in. It’s gonna get Real … and also funny. 😉

If we are to use our tools in the service of fitting in on Earth, our basic relationship to nature–even the story we tell ourselves about who we are in the universe–has to change.  – Janine M. Benyus

Okay so here’s the rundown.  Last night I had been in my office for a couple of hours working on my new website and participating in a soul sister’s live Q&A call for her chakra series. You can check out her program here.   Mr. Beaux was with me.  Hocus Pocus was sound asleep in her bed next to us.  Knox, was strangely not in the vicinity. 

After the call ended, I went downstairs to pour myself a glass of wine and begin the process of winding down.  When I entered the kitchen, not only did I discover that all of my chips and queso had been devoured to my dismay, but Knox was wide-eyed, low to the ground, looking crazed.  (I was honestly less concerned about Knox looking crazed than my shock at how and why my carefully cached chips and queso had been devoured.  I felt like the dude in this French Fry scene from the movie “Men At Work”.

Seriously. 

Knox being a naughty boy on the counter, cleaning his paws after stealing my pizza. With cuteness like this, how can I get upset?

After I realized Knox couldn’t have possibly eaten the chips and queso because the lid to the queso had been replaced (and he lacks opposable thumbs) 😉  I went to ask my husband about the thievery.   As I was leaving the kitchen, I looked over and saw Knox frantically pawing at something under the dishwasher.   Knox has a great recall so I called him to come over to me.  Rather than coming quickly as usual, Knox stayed put, but glanced back at me.  I could see that his eyes were fully dilated.

At this point I realize he has something cornered. A critter.

So, I go to investigate.  I look underneath the dishwasher where he’s crouching but I see nothing.  I call Knox away from the area, reward him for coming, and get down on the ground for a closer look.  I see nothing still.  Hoping it wasn’t another mouse, I leave the kitchen and head back upstairs do discuss The Chip Incident with the suspected thief. 

A few minutes later, I come back down to discover Knox playing with something at the foot of the stairs. He’s frantically pawing at something again, but this time he takes a several swat-breaks to shake his head, spit and salivate as if he has something poisonous in his mouth.  Then he goes back to pawing at something in the crevice of the stairs.  I quickly recall him away from whatever he’s attacking. He complies.

Hocus is intently watching all of this go down, anticipating when she can intervene.  I ask Hocus for a down-stay and she complies.  Now cat and canine are watching intently as I creep towards the critter.

I can see it.

The House Centipede (Scutigera coleoptrata) trying to survive in our house 

Doing its best to make itself a small target as possible, a gigantic alien-like insect sat motionless at the bottom of the stairs.  Now I am doing my best to work up the courage to capture it. At this point, I am aware that my attitude and actions will either elicit an aggressive or calm response from both feline and canine, so I keep my cool.

Internally, I’m experiencing full on heebie-jeebies.

Jason Bateman’s expression perfectly exemplifies how I felt.

Stay with me here.

Suppressing the visceral reaction I’m experiencing just looking at this thing, I am aware that I need to act quickly. Hocus, being the ever protector, will go after something if she thinks it is a threat.  Knox, being the ever hunter, will kill something if he thinks he can eat it.  Neither of these are options.

Not only do I not know how toxic this creature is if consumed by cat or canine, I am doing my best to keep everybody calm and safe.  Including myself! And including this creature who is now huddled in a corner.  As I creep closer, doing my best to work up courage to investigate this alien insect, I was surprised to notice that I wasn’t afraid.

I felt compassion.

Crouched in a corner, exposed and vulnerable, this little critter was just trying to survive.  It was absolutely terrified.  I could intuitively tell by its body posture.  And I could feel it.  I was moved even more when my suspicions and senses about its fear and the harmlessness of its nature were confirmed. 

Acting quickly, I grabbed a conch shell.   My intention was to carefully scoop up the creepy critter without harming it, letting it escape, and lawd help us all in the house — without it actually touching me.  (If any of my entomologist friends are reading this, I know they are laughing). 

I set aside my fears and went to work.

Based on the behavior and structure of this alien insect, I assumed capturing it would be a challenge. Thankfully I was incorrect.  I had to coax it into the conch shell.  Rather than fighting back or fleeing, this long legged being shut down.  It wouldn’t move.  It put up no fight.

It was terrified.

And when I knew this, I was no longer afraid.  I saw it differently.  My heart began to open, and all I wanted to do was help it.  I saw it as someone who needed help.  And I was willing to be of assistance to this long-legged alien.

Funny how that happens when we can see clearly.  Funny how fear blocks the truth.  Funny how an open heart allows us to see others as they really are.  -Not as monsters, but as beings just trying to get by.  

When the fear leaves, love walks in.

I felt like the Grinch when his heart grew 3 sizes after seeing the Whos, who he once hated.

With an open heart and questioned mind, a carefully navigated the creature into the conch shell.  While simultaneously telling him he’s safe, I thanked Hocus and Knox for allowing that to go as smoothly as it did.

I then brought the little being down into our basement, intending to release him in a safe spot.  Slowly and carefully he crawled out of the conch shell.  He took a moment to pause where I had placed him. Then he slowly walked away.  I wished him well and thanked him for teaching me.     

A good deed done to an animal is as meritorious as a good deed done to a human being, while an act of cruelty to an animal is as bad as an act of cruelty to a human being.  -Mohammed

The centipede & conch capture reminded me of sweet, misunderstood Remi of Ratatouille when he was captured and nearly killed.


Seeing Species In A New Light

I would be doing all species a dis-service if I wasn’t honest in sharing this with you:  Just googling for an image of that creature gave me the full on hee-bee-jeebee chills.  But that’s normal considering it’s only the second time I’ve seen it, and via my PC I’m looking at an image of it magnified 50 times bigger than it is in real life. So yeah, it’s still a little creepy to look at up close. And unless I continue to have positive associations with that creature again, I may recoil a bit. Like any person or pet, until we change the underlying emotional response to a perceived threat, we will respond fearfully.

Although it was a really moving experience, I have not been completely desensitized to this species yet. But give me some chips, queso, and a Guinnes while I observe it again and I’ll be feeling much more comfortable with this critter skittering! But the next time I encounter one, my response will be filled with kindness because now I know better.

By ethical conduct toward all creatures, we enter into a spiritual relationship with the universe.
–Albert Schweitzer, The Teaching of Reverence for Life

If you aren’t feeling compassion for “creepy crawlies” yet, I understand.   For as long as I can remember I’ve been terrified of roaches of all shapes and sizes. In fact, I was so afraid of them, I hated them. So I killed them.

It was only through my career at the Audubon Zoo, that I began to have compassion for creatures who I once killed as soon as they came into my sight.  My fear of them was so intense my immediate reaction was to kill them.  Destroying them did not stem from anger.  It stemmed from a deep-seated fear.

But since all fears are learned, all fears can be undone.

“The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”
– Gandhi

Each of us has the ability to remain fearful or become empowered.  This includes every species in the universe.  Once the root of the fear is recognized, we can change the underlining emotion.  Some fears take longer to undo than others but it is possible.  Again, this does not pertain to specific species; All is One.  The scientific principles behind this pertain to every species on the planet.

If we try to get rid of fear or anger without knowing their meaning, they will grow stronger and return.– Deepak Chopra

I am forever grateful to my entomologist friends for teaching me to see even roaches in a new light. Through witnessing their kindness and compassion towards “creepy critters”, and their unending patience with helping me to unravel my deeply rooted fears, I learned to see insects of all shapes and sizes in a new light.  

I even “adopted” an 8 inch centipede as my first venomous pet while doing field research with the Louisiana pine snake project.  (Looking back, I realize I actually stole a viable female from the wild, and should have left her where I found her; lesson learned.) Although, she was initially unsettling to look at, and her venom is wicked powerful, I fell in love with her.  She was a fierce, brilliant, and beautiful bug.  I began to see her this way when I was no longer afraid of her. 

Blinded by fear initially, I could not see her beauty.

If we are willing to be still and open enough to listen, wilderness itself will teach us.  –Steven Harper

Fear Binds. Love Unfolds.


  • My soul sister and Zoo colleague, Liberty with her hairy buddy, Rosie the Chilean Rose-haired tarantula









  • Rosie & Liberty teaching a class about her (the Chilean Rose Hair Tarantula)

Speaking of beautiful and brilliant, the image above is of my closest Soul Sister utilizing her joy, love light, compassion, kindness, and beauty to contrast the scariness of creepy crawlies to kids.  Liberty was the Super Hero Bug Lady who ran the Bug Mobile at Audubon where we worked together.  She was beyond amazing at her job with bugs.  She could transform children’s fears of insects into curiosity. The curiosity transformed aggression into kindness towards these creatures.  Kids came forward instead of recoiling.  They were open to learning.  They were open to changing their limited perspective about all insects.

And so was I.

I learned how sensitive they are.  I learned they can experience fear.  I learned they have personalities.  I learned they care for their young.  I learned they all serve a very important purpose.  I learned that the human species would not survive without them.  But mainly, I learned they’re not out to get me. 😉

You have to hear this.

One of my favorite entomologist friends shared this today, and I promise you will learn something amazing about Arachnids:

I always liked to talk about the Amblypygids (Tailess Whip Scorpions) and kin recognition. These are the arachnids that most people will recognize from Harry Potter when he was being taught the curses. They actually not only recognize family members, but prefer to spend time with them, especially in stressful situations. Siblings will huddle together with mom and stroke each other with their whips to calm down when they are put into new environments. -Matt Thorne

You read that, right? Please take a moment and let that sink in. Even the scariest looking insects are not what we believe them to be; they are capable of concern for their young. They provide comfort to their family when they are scared. How is that not unlike us?

This is the scene Matt is referring to; you can view a short clip of it HERE.

Matt continues: As a personal story, I’ve had many arachnids that are total sweethearts and completely handleable. My giant Asian forest scorpion, Beatrice, was definitely more like a dog with a crunchy exterior. She would walk right onto my hand and nuzzle my palm, and she would eat crickets right out of my hand. She was so gentle and looked like she genuinely liked to be held.

Matt also shared this humors but poignant example of how his compassion and care was witnessed by a stranger:
While evacuating for a Hurricane, I was sitting outside of my motel room holding her, letting her get some exercise crawling from hand to hand, and giving her a mealworm to snack on. In the middle of this, a man staggers out of the bar down the street and walks my way. He gets closer and then stops, trying to focus on my hand.
“Is that a scorpion?” he slurs in disbelief.
“Yep.”
He leans in a little closer and in a conspiratorial whisper asks, “Are you a wizard?”
I nodded in the affirmative and he hurried away.

Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
– James Stephens

  • Liberty and Millie the millipede at school teaching kids about amazing insects!

  • Liberty, lookin’ like a real life Disney Princess, helps to counter-condition kids to “creepy crawlies”
  • A Sonaran desert whip scorpion; she looks really scary but they are harmless.
  • Baby Australian walking stick
  • Bug Club!

Species Serving a Purpose

All life is valuable. All species serve a purpose. There is a connection and interdependence within the Whole. But are we open to accepting this? Can we become compassionate to all life?

Even after everything my entomologist friends taught me over the years, I was amazed to discover that the creature we captured in our house is considered a very beneficial insect. An entomologist has a great write up about the species on his website. You can check it out here.

It turns out, this particular critter in question is called a house centipede.  He refers to them as curious. They are docile to non-prey items (you and me and our pets). He explains that the venom of house centipedes is not particularly toxic (to humans/pets) and they seldom bite.  He further explains they prey on tons of unwanted house “pests” such as clothes moths and cockroaches. How cool is that?!?

And this species does all of this without charging a dime for their services. 😉

Kindness & Compassion Connects Us All.

Kindness or Cruelty is a Choice.  
And Choices Allow for Change.

The really cool thing about changing the way we perceive something is that it brings the power back to the observer.  The power of perception lies within.   We have the ability to change the way we perceive something.  No one else has that power over us.  When we change the way we perceive something, change occurs on all levels.  

Change Is a Choice.

People aren’t the only ones that learn from observing.  How we choose to react to, and how we treat other creatures with cruelty or kindness does not go unnoticed.  I’m convinced that our cat and dog learn something from observing me and not experience with the creature.  Had I finally reacted towards it, you can bet their response would’ve been similar in the future.

If emotions can change, so can behavior.

models of emotion suggest all the feelings we experience as being discrete emotions vary in how they feel to us/how helpful they are.

If we want to change the behavior of any being, we gotta dig. Aggression in all species does stem from fears, but the details are complicated. Today we will keep this simple.

Both people and animals learn that aggressive behavior gets them what they want. This can be social status, resources, or a sense of safety. Behaving aggressively comes in many forms; bullying other school kids to biting someone who tries to pet you without permission. Both of these behaviors receive desired results. Quite effectively actually. The bully feels powerful and the impinged upon pet gets the pushy person to go away. Aggression towards an Archind serves the same purpose; I kill the spider. Now he/she can’t crawl on me. Attacks on other people have the same results; I shoot them; now they can’t impinge upon me.

But until we look at the underlying emotions and beliefs or prior experiences that have created the fear, we cannot undo the fear that’s led to the aggressive behavior.

Harm no other beings.  They are your brothers and sisters.
– Buddha

 

Spider Symbolism

So, all of this discussion about “creepy crawlies” is now coming back full circle.  This brings us back to the eight-legged species of the day:  The Spider!  A souls sis shared that spider meme with me yesterday and it made me laugh out loud. As silly as it seems, now you’ll think twice before you kill your 8-legged roommate. 😉 And let’s not forget what our entomologist friend Matt shared with us about spiders having social behavior!

Bottom line: Spiders are awesome. Spiders deserve respect.

As do all insects in every corner and crevice of the world.  Bugs are doin’ the best they can, man. And they’re doing a damn good job at what they do. Let’s do our damnedest to be better to them.

We are the earth, made of the same stuff; there is no other, no division between us and “lower” or “higher” forms of being. 
–Estella Lauder

Have you seen Ellen Degenere’s stand-up comedy bit about how quick we are to kill “creepy crawlies” and other critters? You can check it out here. It’s so true! And if you really think about it, we see humans doing this with other humans, too.

Fear is Fear. Love is Love. With whom we love or fear, the species does not matter. It’s all the same.

I hold that, the more helpless a creature, the more entitled it is to protection by man from the cruelty of man.  -Mahatma Gandhi

Ok, so here’s something you may not know about spiders:  Their symbolism is astonishing.   If you have never heard about Nature symbolism, please let me explain.  This tool was utilized by all of our ancestors, most of whom were deeply connected to Mother Earth and Mother Nature.  My Cherokee and Celtic ancestors recognized important communication and clues that surrounded symbolic patterns in nature.  In our modern-day society, we have forgotten this, and we often miss the signs, but we can learn to use our intuition to recognize these subtle messages from Spirit.

All we need is a little willingness to learn.

You can see the short post about Spider Symbolism here.

Life is as dear to a mute creature as it is to a man.  Just as one wants happiness and fears pain, just as one wants to live and not die, so do other creatures.  –The Dalai Lama

Compassion for Fears with A Willingness to Change

How would we see things in a new light if we weren’t judging them as bad, wrong, evil, or scary?  How would everyone’s experience change if we weren’t afraid?  This pertains to every species on the planet.  As the title of this post asks us, are we Justifying Judgement or Choosing to Compassionately Face Fears?

I choose compassion. I choose to face every fear.

Find out what you’re afraid of and live there.
– Chuck Palahniuk

Once we remove the fear, the underlining emotion changes.  When the underlining emotion changes, the behavior changes as a consequence. This is not woo; it’s actually based in science. Thoughts, beliefs, judgments and emotions are intrinsically linked.

It’s All Connected.

The fear we have about a species, person, place, idea, or experience is not our fear alone.  It ripples out. It is shared. This is why we all have so much responsibility to each other.

But there’s a flip-side; the fear we have about something that scares us can give us compassion and understanding for what another soul is experiencing. We don’t have to fully understand their fear, but we can respect it and then help them to undo it. This is true for both people and pets!

Not to hurt our humble brethren is our first duty to them, but to stop there is not enough.  We have a higher mission — to be of service to them wherever they require it.  St. Francis of Assisi

If we understand what it feels like to experience revulsion, fear, and even anger towards something that frightens us, we can show compassion to the one who is afraid. We can understand that fear is at the root of all anger and aggression. This includes every person, animal, and insect.

Those who are not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

As I discussed in my last post about the power of our thoughts, the power to change our thoughts brings the power back to us. When we question our upset, angry, hateful, and fearful beliefs we open the door to compassion, empathy and understanding. We move out of fearful or reactive energy and shift into a loving presence. This allows gratitude and love to enter our mind.

This is what transforms worlds.

These are not trite sayings, my friend. They are true. And Love is who we all are without our stories, beliefs, judgments, and justifications. When we can tap into the compassionate side of ourselves, we will ripple that out to the world. Like a stone tossed into a pond the impact of the stone penetrating the surface of the water eventually reaches the shore.

We Are One.

Looking closely at our disgust or dismay for something frightening or unfamiliar is a doorway to a new way of seeing all beings in a new light. Finding compassion for the smallest-sized critters is no small feat, my friend. If we can show compassion to a ant, spider, or centipede that once annoyed, scared, or creeped us out, imagine how we would begin to see other communities, other nations, and other worlds of life. One seemingly small shift in perception from fear to love is the beginning to peace within and without. Empathy is the first step in conquering fear.

We are all in this together.

It will take time. It will take a little willingness on our part. When we lead by example, others learn. But will we teach and lead with love? I Am hopeful we will. I have faith in you.

What has been your experience with fears, limiting beliefs, and judgments? Has something occurred in your life where compassion became the focal point instead of fear? We would LOVE to hear❣

And it’s hard to love, there’s so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above say it’s much, much too late
Well, maybe we should all be praying for time
These are the days of the empty hand
Oh, you…
Listen without Judgement …
🎥 — George Michael, “Praying for Time”

Recommended & Related Reading:

🔸Animal Emotions and That Icky Sticky Fear

🔸How Fear Becomes Aggression in Dogs and Humans

🔸Looking At Fear

🔸 Be Kind.

🔸The Many Faces of Feline Fear: ​​Kittens, Adults, Adolescents, Seniors

🔸Aggression in Canines

🔸How Cats Learn – ​The Hierarchy of Learning by Cat Stages: ​Kittens, Adolescents, Adults, Seniors ​

🔸Amazing Arachnids

🔸Social Behavior in Amblypygids

🔸 True Facts : Bolas Spider

🔸The Matters of The Mind … It Matters.

🔹 3 Words to Change Your Neural Pathway: I love You.

🔹 The Empowered Path: Tools & Tips for Empaths with Pets!

Conscious Companion®
Life with Your Companion, Improved.™

Amazing Arachnids

On By Conscious Companion™In Misperception Mondays!, Nature's Finest Moments, Species Spotlight1 Comment

Teach them a spider does not spin a web. Spiders spin meaning. Cut one strand and the web holds. Cut many, the web falls. With the web’s fall, so too falls the spider. Break the web. Break the spider. So breaks the circle of life. – Frederic M. Perrin

Spiders. They either invoke reverence or revulsion in the eye of the beholder.

But what if the presence of Spider is much more than meets the human eye???

Spider energy, (or as my Cherokee ancestors refer to it, “spider medicine”) is a sign that your higher self is guiding you toward a deeper understanding of your place and purpose in this life. Grandmother Spider spins the web of time and knows all aspects of the future and the past. In Shamanism the Spider is an inventor. The creature’s 8 legs represent the medicine wheel, and Spider spirit was the sacred keeper of Native American history.

As the weaver of the web, the spider symbolizes the spirit of creation. In several traditions, she’s the totemic symbol of the Mother, strong feminine energy. To the Egyptians, Spider was sacred, and associated with the Goddess Neith – a mother figure. Similarly Native Americans see Spider as a creator and a symbol of the divine Feminine aspect. This creative energy is central to Spider’s lessons.

Spider says, “Haste makes waste. Go slow and steady and wait for the right time.” As you do, you’ll achieve greater understanding of all your aptitudes and traits and pull them together as a cohesive whole. Spider reminds us that planning and taking your time with a heartfelt project is the key to success.

Spider as a spiritual guide and mentor encourages you to try looking at a problem from different angles. Follow one strand – where does it take you? Try another – where are you then? Stay flexible and don’t be afraid to test out a new Path.

Spider asks us to ask ourselves, “Where do you want to build your web/network so that it’s strong?”

Most spider webs are round-ish spirals which unite at a central point. In this, Spider webs are mandalas! As the center of your own “web”, are you focused on what you truly want or are you spending time concentrating on negative energy?

Great things to consider as we celebrate Save a Spider Day !

“What’s miraculous about a spider’s web?”, said Mrs. Arable.

“I don’t see why you say a web is a miracle–it’s just a web.”

“Ever try to spin one?”, asked Mr. Dorian.

–Charlotte’s Web

Learn more about incredible creatures at Conscious Companion.

The Matters of The Mind … It Matters.

On By Conscious Companion™In Gratitude1 Comment

There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.  Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly.  Ideas leave not their source.

How are you, bright Light?

I truly hope you and yours are doing well in all ways. I have been better. The past week or so has been hellahard. I don’t normally say life is hard; usually I find a more helpful way to describing what I am feeling, but it’s tough love time. Let’s cut through the crap shall we?

I have been creating hell on earth for myself.

I could blame circumstances, people, places, or events, but that is being a victim, of which I no longer see myself or anyone else these days. I am not a victim of the world I see. No one is. I have learned, through much trial and error, and surprising success that there is nothing outside of me that can cause me pain. Nothing. It is only my thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that can do this.

And I have been creating ahellalotof pain.

I share this, because I now understand and appreciate that this discomfort does not end with me; it affects everONE and everything. But as I wrote in this post, so does our love, kindness, and compassion. Which is why I Am feeling such a strong pull to share this with you now.

The present now remains the only time. Here in the present is the world set free. For as you let the past be lifted and release the future from your ancient fears, you find escape and give it to the world.

My Ride or Dies, ready & waiting for a Big Adventure to Begin!

In every moment we are co-creating.  With every thought we build our beliefs.  With every feeling and emotion, we become convinced.  We are constantly creating.  But what are we consciously and subconsciously creating?  What are we convincing ourselves?  And from which part of our mind?

It Matters.

💭

“Your thoughts determine what you see.” —ACIM

This is no trite statement; the Truth of this returns all power to the perceiver/thinker/observer. It brings the power back to us, and removes it from where we thought it was; outside of us.

Nothing outside ourselves can “save” us. This has been a huge lesson for me lately; something my Team has been trying to teach me for a long time. But now, through the triggers, I See. I am willing to change my thoughts, which have created false beliefs about so many things.

Most importantly, I am remembering that peace begins within.

Nothing outside of ourselves can truly give us lasting peace. This also means nothing outside of ourselves can disturb our peace of mind , unless we agree to it. Embracing this Truth, places you in charge of your universe. You have the power. Now. 

💭

What we are experiencing is not at cause of how we feel; thoughts are the source of what we experience. Continual Thoughts lead to beliefs. Emotions follow. Then with which teacher in the mind we choose to See will be reflected in our experience.

How we choose to See affects All.

I created this vlog a couple of months ago, mainly to remind myself. Then I forgot about it.   Then, quite unexpectedly, ugly crud came up for me to clear. So the shadow work began. Again. As you probably know, there is no lightwork with out shadowwork. As we are ALL moving through these powerful, transformative energies, shining Light onto the shadows dispels the darkness. We see that there was nothing to fear.

Diving Deep Within Is a Game Changer.

Our hidden subconscious mind is what Carl Jung referred to as “The Shadow”.

Now that we are full swing into Pisces Season (lawd, help us all) many sensitives are experiencing the far-reaching effects in the collective energies at play. -Especially Empaths. We are also smack-dab in the middle of Mercury Retrograde (which I personally enjoy), giving us an opportunity to review, reset, and rewrite conditions all across our landscape.

Here’s a bit of astro backstory: Basically, the Sun visits a new zodiac sign every thirty days or so. During each “season” everyone feels the influence of the prevailing astrological energy. Those who are more sensitive to these shifts, such as Empaths and intuitives, can have a wild ride. The Pisces cycle lasts until March 20, assisting us to cultivate compassion and move forward with our most creative ideas. Pisces also governs the things we need to release.

If these concepts are new to you, they once were unfamiliar to me, too! But it’s not woo. I promise, you. The patterns within the universe, planets, and our star, the sun, are all at play in a major way. These energies affect All life – people, plants, pets, and every population on the planet.

So, I Am hoping this is helpful.  May we all embrace the power of our Loving Mind, and become grateful and respectful for the Oneness of All.

We Are Truly All In This Together.


Love or Fear, Dear?

We have two core emotions that come in a myriad of forms:  Love & Fear.  One we made and one was Given.  Each emotion we experience becomes a way of experiencing life and Seeing; two very different worlds arise from these two different sights.

Love or Fear are the voices/teachers/guides we all have the choice of listening to in our mind.  We will know which one we have chosen, based on our attitude, feeling, thoughts, and subsequent behavior.

“Fear and love make or create, depending on whether the ego or The Spirit begets or inspires them, but they will return to the mind of the thinker and they will affect his/her total perception.”

This perception includes our concept of our Creator and our creations.

We cannot appreciate any of Them if we regard Them fearfully.

But we will appreciate all of Them if we regard Them All with love.

In Truth, we can love All only as One, but we can perceive it as fragmented. We see individual people, plants, and pets, but this conditioned perception of fragmentation is inaccurate.  Perception is a mirror; not a fact.  What we look upon is our current state of mind reflected outward. But here’s the empowering part: Anyone is free to change their mind, and all thoughts, emotions, and beliefs change with it.   You have the power. Always, in all ways, beloved.

“To change our mind means we have changed the source of all ideas we think or ever thought or yet will think.  We free ourselves from the past of what we thought before.  We free the future from all ancient thoughts of seeking what we do not want to find. Your ability to direct your thinking as you choose is part of its power. If you do not believe you can do this you have denied the power of your thought.”

Knox & Beaux enjoying a catnap together.

P.S. Don’t forget about the little ways we can change our perspective … Self Care is at the root of this. Something as seemingly simple as taking a catnap can give our mind and body the break it needs during a hectic day. Just ask any cat around the world. They know 😉

So in honor of National Nap Day, I give you THIS.

Compassion and Calculated Creativity: Stepping Outside the Proverbial Pet Box

On By Conscious Companion™In Fear Free, Health & Well Being of Your Animal CompanionsLeave a comment

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ― Mother Teresa

Note: This blog post is available as a podcast at our website.

Hello friends! And Happy Almost March! Seriously, how are we nearly in March already?? Time really does fly when you are having fun, feeling love, and when you are in gratitude! I hope you are enjoying February and are ready for more amazing things to come in March.

If you haven’t seen it yet, Unconditional Love was the epicenter of our February Newsletter. I wish this story made the cut, but it just occurred so you’re getting the scoop here first. Although this post is also centered on love, we will switch gears a bit. This is a look into how we overcame a stressful situation by coming together as a team. It was fun to make. I hope you enjoy it. And I hope it’s helpful.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ― Leo Buscaglia

Ok, let’s get to the nitty gritty of today’s post!

But first, I have some questions for you:

How do you feel about going to the veterinarian with your pets? How do your pets feel about going to the veterinarian? Do you dread it? Do you avoid going at all because it kind of sucks for everyone? Are your pets terrified at the sight of a cat kennel? Or do they dread seeing the door to the vet’s office? Where is your stress level when they are stressed?

Going to the veterinarian does not need to be a stressful experience. In fact, it should not be. Not only can going to the veterinarian be a positive experience for your pets, it should also be a positive experience for you as their guardian. Health challenges, routine checkups, and emergencies can be challenging to say the least, but they don’t have to be terrifying for anyone involved.

Both you and your pets can feel empowered together, in any situation.

The experience that each of you will have in any of these circumstances is directly linked to one another. Not only will your stress levels affect each other, but your attitude, responses and reactions are inexplicably linked. You may have separate physical bodies, but the emotions and energy between you are connected.

You are a team.

Today I was reminded of this in a very powerful way. I am incredibly grateful and inspired after what happened, which is why I’m sharing this with you! For the first time in what feels like forever, our family had a wonderful experience at the vet. I am not exaggerating when I say that it was by far the most positive experience I’ve ever had at a veterinarian’s office. I wish for everyone to have these kinds of experiences. And I wish that every animal companion had access to this kind of care.

Our companion animals are deserving of this and more.

I created a video describing a couple of aspects concerning this subject. I guess you could call it a Vlog (a video blog). But before you watch the video, it would be helpful if I gave you a bit of history about each of the animals that you will see in the video. It’s important to explain these aspects because with any animal companion in question, their individual history, individual temperaments, preferences, and personalities are all very important aspects to consider when it comes to creating conditions for compassionate animal care.

For the sake of time and to keep this short I will be brief about each of them.

Hocus Pocus is a 7-year-old Black-mouth cur with a history of reactivity towards very specific unfamiliar dogs and familiar cats who “creep into her canine space.” Over a year ago she was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, and was immediately put on medication. Hocus’ reactivity to unfamiliar dogs, and the cats with whom she shares her home dramatically decreased. We have not had an indecent in reactivity in well over 8 months. With regards to people, Hocus’ trust and love of humans (of all ages and physical stages) knows no bounds. She is a true love bug when she is at her best.

“Mood swings and unexplained aggression can be caused by low thyroid.” – Shannon Wilkinson

Hocus’ overall experiences with veterinary offices (from my observation of her behavior) have been very positive over the past 6 years. During her first year of life she had one very aversive experience with an old school vet, concerning her ears. But thankfully, we have not had a repeat of that unkindness. I invest a lot of time and effort to build up Hocus’ confidence and to create lasting positive associations with the staff, the machinery, and the sight and scent of veterinary clinics everywhere we move.

The positive associations pay off profoundly.

Hocus Pocus popping by the vet, just to hop on the scale & get yummy cookies from the staff and lots of love.

Bred to Hunt!

Hocus‘ breed was designed to chase, hunt, and kill small mammals. Despite this inherent genetic predisposition, she became very bonded to our beloved King Albert the Grey. She remained by his side until his soul left his Earthly vessel. Since King Albert’s passing, Hocus has become very bonded to Beaux. She keeps a close eye on him on his walks, body blocking other dogs if they come closer than she would prefer 😉 She has now become exquisitely attuned to Mr. Beaux since the beginning of his seizures. She races to him when she hears any sudden noises that sound like the start of a seizure, and she alerts us whenever he appears to need help.

Hocus Pocus has become Beaux’s Guardian.

Friends Don’t Hunt Friends 😉 Hocus Pocus & Mr. Beaux enjoying a car adventure together after a short stroll on the “frozen tundra” here

Mr. Beaux is a 19+ year old cat. He is considered geriatric at this age. Mr. Beaux has a history of extreme aggression that only manifests in a veterinarian clinic. This aggressive behavior stems from extreme fear.
Fear is the apprehension of a stimulus, object or event. Fear is a highly adaptive response, which is essential for survival. Fear manifests itself in many forms in all species. It’s not something, as their guardians, we are to judge, make wrong, or be embarrassed by. It’s quite natural. More importantly, as this post poignantly pointed out, the appropriate response to any fearful reaction should be compassionate, kind, and unconditionally loving.

Thankfully, the fear response can be changed in all species.

If you have read this past post, then you are aware of 4 common patterns of behavior in fearful animals: The four F’s (Flight, Fight, Freeze, Fiddle About). If you have not read it, I highly recommend it. As the article explains, the choice to F,F,F or F depends on the situation, but the tendency to choose one over the other also varies greatly with breed and species. Cats tend to choose to escape as their first response to fear. If they are unable to leave the situation, they often resort to fighting (becoming aggressive) as a means to escape.

When people, pets, and even plants, respond to stimuli in their environment, there is a very complex range of potential reactions.  The response is both specific to the stimulus encountered, and to the situation.  This will depend on two very important factors: 

  • The genetic influence on behavior.  This influences the species and breed-specific behavioral responses that have become established over generations. 
  • The individual aspect of behavior.  This has been established through the process of learning and which reflects not only the individual’s innate response to specific stimuli, but also its unique experience.

Plants, like these sunflowers, have proven to have amazing sensory abilities, but scientists aren’t exactly sure how.

Beaux, when given a choice, will flee in the presence of danger or a perceived threat. In the past, at veterinary offices who did not practice force free medical care, Mr. Beaux did not have the choice of fleeing. So being the incredible House Panther than he is, his next and most natural innate feline response was to fight.

He fought hard.

Fast forward to today: I don’t allow that bullshizzill to happen anymore, with any of our animal family members, in any situation.

I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better. ― Maya Angelou

I have learned to love my failures and mistakes. They have become my greatest learning opportunities. Miracles come from mastering the lessons of our mistakes. Now I teach others how to prevent these kinds of situations, how to be proactive with their pets, and how to create conditions that help everyone involved to feel safe, secure, and as peaceful as possible. We won’t go into all of those today. We will just focus on a couple of conditions that were very helpful for our family in this particular situation.

Recently, Mr. Beaux had a seizure. Thankfully, he hasn’t had one of these in many months prior to this recent event. The last time it occurred was when we were living in California. At that time, he was under the care of a feline only health practitioner who practiced fear free techniques. This incredible veterinarian was assisting all of our cats with various medical challenges at the time. Because of the techniques that this certified fear free clinic was providing our feline family members, Mr. Beaux was learning to trust veterinarians and technicians for the first time in a long time. And considering he and King Albert were senior cats, they were being seen every six months. It was all going splendidly.

But then we moved. Again.

So, the search for a new qualified kitty vet began. Again.

Wanting to maintain Mr. Beaux’s level of trust, (for not only me, but for strangers who provide medical care to him), I researched, interviewed, and scouted out the best possible medical care facility in the area we now live. They say the third times a charm. And well, that was certainly the case with this cat. Mr. Beaux was seen by two other veterinary clinics before I “broke up” with them and began taking our feline family members to this new veterinarian clinic.

We hit the jackpot.

At first, I was incredibly disappointed that there was no certified fear free all feline (cat only) veterinarians in this new area. Going to a mixed species clinic has not worked out for our family in the past, so we usually avoid them when we can. But this new mixed species clinic did not disappoint. It was a calm and respectful experience for both Mr. Beaux, and myself. The staff were absolutely amazing. They did not push him, and they let him set the pace. I knew we’d be returning, and happy to do so when the time came to do so.

Six months later it was time to return.

To my great delight and amused surprise, taking Mr. Beaux to a mixed species vet worked out in our favor again. This time, our dog, Hocus Pocus, was invited to come along with us, and it was a smashing success.

Life with your animal companion, Improved.™

Of course, every situation is unique. Each person and pet bring both their individual and collective history, fears, preferences, emotions, beliefs, and energy into each challenging situation. And of course, who we choose to come along as our trusted companion will have consequences. This is true for both people and pets! I would not bring along a friend who asks a million annoying questions while I am trying to stay focused and centered. I would not bring along a friend who has the slightest aversion to medical offices or who has a history of panic attacks. I am going to bring the most grounded, calm, and secure person.

Bonus points: Someone who can make me laugh 😉

The two images below are examples of beautiful souls who can not only make me laugh when I am mad or sad, but they are giant oak trees who help me to stay grounded. Kathleen and Hocus are two strong souls I call on anytime I need support.

Get yourself grounded and you can navigate even the stormiest roads in peace. ― S. Goodier

Personality and energy set aside, there are also important puzzle pieces at play that we need to know about to stay empowered, together as a team. Below this post are a few links that go into this, including why we use food as a tool. The point is, there are countless ways to empower each other. There are tried and true science-based methods. And there are trials by fire. But to stay empowered takes time, compassionate effort, and a bit of creativity.

That’s what we did today. And it worked.

Compassion is the keen awareness of the interdependence of all things. –Thomas Merton

Questions to Consider

As the video alludes to, when it comes to creating empowering conditions, we want to consider:

  • What will be helpful?
  • What will be a hindrance?
  • What will empower?
  • What will be compassionate choices?
  • What will create more fear or frustration?
  • What will reduce fear?
  • What will enhance everyone’s confidence, peace of mind, and sense of security.

Asking these questions is critical if we want to create a Life with Our Animal companion, Improved.

Feeling Only Good Vibes at our home in Cali at the beach

Sometimes it’s helpful when we step back, reevaluate, take carefully calculated risks, and think outside of the proverbial pet box.

Canines In Kahootz

As we all know, there are no coincidences in life.

No less than an hour after we returned home from the vet, our lovely mail person popped onto our porch, and began to share a similar story.  While petting Hocus she explained how and why her family now brings her dog’s “BFF” with them to the vet, to help her senior dog feel more secure.   Before trying this unusual technique, she could never get her whopping 100-pound Labrador through the front door, even with food, compassion, and a lot of patience.  It took an entire team to force the dog into the vet, and the entire time the dog was terrified, the people were stressed, and the staff were strained.  But when her best pup pal is by her side, she struts right through the door, feeling confident and more secure.

And the best part:  Her pup chose to participate. No force needed.

Compassion is the wish to see others free from suffering. – The Dalai Lama

The Power of Choice

I am passionate about allowing all species of animals to have the power to choose in every circumstance. The ability to choose to participate or choose to walk away are choices that all living beings deserve the right to exercise. But what about our power to make choices as their guardians? We have the power to choose as well. And the choices we make affect their lives. Even the choices we make in our mind can have a powerful effect.

When a stressful event is on the horizon and you know that it’s going to affect your pets, you have choices to make. We have the power to choose to be in fear or to release those fears. Whether you choose to stay stressed, anxious, or worried is your choice. But what you choose will affect the experience and the outcome for all involved.

The success of your family and your animal companions during times of change depends upon you and how you choose to prepare, address, view, and react during, after, and before the event.

Come what may. We are never victims of our circumstances. We can chose another way/.

I’d love to hear from you.

What has been your experience with taking your pets to the vet?  How do you manage their stress levels?  How do you manage yours?  Do your pets go to a certified fear free clinic?  Have you ever brought a friend or family member along with you?  Was this helpful or not? Do you have a good relationship with your pets’ veterinarian?  Do you trust the staff?  Do your pets? If you could wave a magic wand concerning your pets medical care, what would you change? What would you create? What would they change? What would they choose?   

Know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you. ― Neil deGrasse Tyson

Stay Inspired!

Recommended Reading & Related Links

Fear & Empowerment 101 :

VET Success!

Canine Hypothyroidism & Behavior:

Senior Cats

Plants Who Respond to Threats In Environment

3 Words to Change Your Neural Pathway: I love You.

On By Conscious Companion™In mindfulness3 Comments

If we understood the power of our thoughts,

we would guard them more closely.

If we understood the awesome power of our words,

we would prefer silence to almost anything negative.

In our thoughts and words, we create

our own weaknesses and our own strengths.

Our limitations and joys begin in our hearts.

We can always replace negative with positive.

– Bettie Eadie

methods-for-creating-new-neural-pathways

Hello Bright Light!

How the heck are we nearly halfway through February?  Lawdy.  Well, since many consider this the month of Love, I thought it would be fun to talk about the Circle of Love and the Lenses of Love. 

If you have been flowing with this blog from the get-go, then you know I have never been a fan of Valentine’s Day due to multiple deaths around that date.  Plus, now I know that our animal companions offer A Love Not of This World everyday.  Now I see Every Day is the 14th!  And … Feb 20th is not only national cherry pie day, it’s Love Your Pet Day!

So, this will be a new take on Love with a cool twist.  This post is something I Am really passionate about.  It’s empowering.  And I promise, if you let it in, it will change your lives. 

So grab your tea, water, or wine, invite your best fur friend for a cuddle sesh, and get comfy.  It’s about to get Real. 

🎙(Oh, if you are not a big reader, and if you’d prefer to listen to the written portion of this post as a podcast, you can listen here.)🎙

As an avid student of both philosophy and positive behavior modification, I understand and appreciate how challenging it can be to change the way we believe and think.  As Empath and Intuitive, I also appreciate that how we feel is directly linked to what we are thinking and believing.  It’s all connected.  But sometimes, it’s a big annoying wheel of feels.

Empath_emotions_anxiety_depression_starseed_empath tools_Conscious Companion_The Empowered Path
All the Feelz

If you want to change your life, you must change your mind and change your brain … on purpose. -Bill Crawford

Change and the Three Brains

There is much more at play, beyond our emotions, when it comes to change. Neuroscience research has shown that we have three fully functioning “brains”.  Check out this quote below:

 Our head (cephalic) brain is best suited for creativity, logic, and problem solving. Our heart (cardiac) brain serves us best when accessed for passion and compassion. And our gut (enteric) brain is the source of courage and self-protection. The vagus nerve is the communication channel between the three brains. 90% of the brain signals traveling through the vagus nerve are traveling up; only 10% travel down!

 

How our thoughts and brain influence our lives is overlooked and greatly underappreciated.  More importantly, how we can become more aware and influential of this process is essential if we want anything to be different. 

It begins within.

The quote above sums up where we can start.  All we need is a little willingness to change our mind about things.  Regardless of the form: a reactive rover, a frustrating feline, a careless coworker, a nosy neighbor, a sassy sister, or bothersome brother – we can change how we perceive their behavior, and how we respond to them in every circumstance.

unconditional Love_seeing with love_the Voice for Love  

“For what you see, feel, hear and experience depends a good deal on where you are standing and also where your mind is.”

-C.S. Lewis, The Magician’s Nephew, Chronicles of Narnia

Years ago, I discovered both people and pets fall into one or two elemental groups: Fire, Earth, Air, Water, and Metal.  Holistic health practitioners (for both people and pets) classify patients according to the five-element theory.  This includes:

  • body structure
  • tendencies
  • temperaments
  • emotions
  • positive and negative behaviors
  • moods
  • illnesses

These can all be viewed in relation to the five elements.  Usually there are one or two elements that are predominant in a pet or person. (There are links at the end of this post that go into this in detail.)

five-elements-What sign are you_5 elements

Our big grey bear of a cat was a Wood personality.  Our dog is a combo of Earth and Wood, and I can be a combo of both wood and Fire.  The emotion associated with the Wood element is anger.  When anger predominates, one becomes easily upset and is unable to appropriately restrain their feelings. “Wood” get angry easily and are prone to physical reactions and shouting. These unstable emotions result in the uneven circulation of Qi (energy) and Blood, creating a generalized state of tension and stress.

The combination of combustible cats and canines created very heated moments in our house.

flames on the side of my face
Mrs. White, from the cult classic movie “Clue” sums up the combustion. 

Compassion is a choice.

Some days I was less than unhelpful when it got heated.  Being both a triple Sagittarius and a Fire Personality within the 5 Chinese elements, I tend to get “heated” quickly.   When I am stressed, I can become overwhelmed wicked fast.  When I am on my last nerve I can get triggered quickly.   When I am at my worst, my temper could rival a volcano.   

But on my best days, I am calm, collected, and can cruise through any crisis.

Thankfully, my best days are the majority these days.  But I wasn’t always at my best.  Before I began practicing what I call mind training, and keeping an open heart, I was reactive.  My world was often overwhelming.  My default was reacting.

Fear ran the show.

pendulum-blog

But as I promised in an earlier post, I have to be honest.  Here’s the truth: My pendulum can swing wildly from unconditional love to oh-hell-no.  On the days when I am maxed out emotionally and physically, I need my space.   And I need peace and quiet.  Period. 

But I also need love.

Just like our animal companions, when we are at our worst, this is when we need kindness, unconditional love, self-care, and compassion.  But in the moment – when we are feeling drained, pulled at, and impinged upon — we can become reactive to the ones we love most.

That’s when WE need LOVE the most.

When I say “we need love”, I am referring to bringing love into our awareness, and letting the Voice for Love run the show. – not the fearful ego.  I call the ego “Drop Dead Fred”.  Do you remember that character from the movie?  He’s beyond obnoxious.  And so is the monkey mind that tries to take over when we are tired. 

Ego mind_DropDeadFred_the Ego_what is the ego_ego death
Drop Dead Fred doing his damnedest to influence his person, as she begins to no longer listen to him

Regardless of how much we are struggling in the moment, however fearful, frustrated, drained, strained, or upset we are, we have a choice. We don’t have to allow the ego to take the wheel and drive.  We don’t have to become overwhelmed, upset, angry, irritated, or reactive to anyone or anything, including inanimate objects, strangers, or the ones we truly love.

We Can Choose Love.

Emotional-Stress-Of-Mesothelioma-Diagnosis

There’s an empowering saying that I live by these days:  We are either extending love or we are calling for love.  

This is not limited to people.  This goes for every living being and their behavior.  I will talk more about this in the book, but for now, think of extending love as BEING an extension of what you consider LOVE to be.  For me, it’s as simple as being kind and compassionate.  Think of “calling for love” as anything other than that.  A “Call for Love” can come in a myriad of forms; some of which are downright ugly and scary.

not_my_real_mom_cat
This combustible convo might have occurred in our home when I was at my worst.

But here’s the kicker that’s easier said than done:  Regardless of either form (calling for love, or extending love) the response should be love. 

Now, clearly, I do not always remember this.  And even sometimes when I do remember this, I still react.  BADLY.   In fact, there is one particular family member who I have the toughest time NOT reacting to … on. the. reg.

He is what I would call my greatest lesson in love.  I call him that because he is teaching me, through all the ways I am triggered, that regardless of the form of his behavior, my response can be love.

When I choose to respond with love, it changes everything. 

As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.

– ACIM, Chapter 8: The Journey Back

-Yoko-Ono-Quote-Remember-love-Remember-our-hearts-are-one-Even-when

Remembering this powerful Truth brings me into a state of higher awareness, compassion, and kindness.  Remembering this allows me to step back and become the observer of what is occurring within my environment, rather than reacting.  Remembering this brings me peace.  When I am at peace, I can be peaceful and extend this peace outward. When I am at peace, I am kind with myself and others.  The video below describes what I am talking about. 

3 Words to Change Your Neural Pathway:

The Empowered Path_Conscious Companion_Empath_emotions_anxiety_depression_starseed_empath tools_Growth_expansion

Kindness reflects our inherent oneness with each other, while attack drives us still further apart in our awareness. – Ken Wapnick, The Healing Power of Kindness, Vol. 1: Releasing Judgment

When we really understand and appreciate the power of neural pathways and how they are created in the brain, we take our power back.  We learn how to truly let go of unhelpful habitual behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs.  When we appreciate the power of perception, we empower ourselves.

Thanks to neuroplasticity, the brain’s ever-changing potentials, anything is possible.

We can become conscious of what we focus on.  We can become mindful of what we are mindful of.  We can replace the negative with something positive. We can choose to re-frame it in our Mind.

shutterstock_241240996.jpg

When we are faced with everyday life situations, we have an opportunity to notice.  There is always a very revealing way that we can begin to monitor our minds.  We can do this with practical matters we find difficult or challenging. 

Imagine.

What would happen if you could say, “I love you.” when someone is behaving completely bonkers.  What if they were out of their mind and you could still think it silently.   Imagine if, while your dog was reacting to something in his/her environment, you didn’t react, too.  Imagine calmly saying to your canine companion, “I love you.”

Imagine the possibilities. 

Imagine the miracles.

We can begin to watch how we respond when our family, ourselves, partner, friends, strangers, coworkers, or animal companions are stressed, stressing us out, or going through a crisis.  During these trying times, our unconscious feelings will surface.  When they do, we often project those fears out, unfortunately, onto everyone from strangers to the ones who love us with all that they are. 

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It’s important to never underestimate the depth of our unconscious fear of returning to the mind.  It’s also important to become aware of our attraction to blaming outside circumstances (in whatever form they may be) for our inner condition.  Regardless of their reactivity, or their behavior, we get to choose. 

We always have the power to choose how we respond.

We can choose to react, or to observe.  We can choose to listen to the voice for love, or the voice for fear.  We can choose kindness and compassion, or we can choose to be critical. We can choose to extend love, or call for love.  

Let’s consider choosing Love.

“The only path wide enough for us all is love.” ― Kamand Kojouri

But first, let’s begin by being loving and kind to ourselves; we cannot give to others what we do not have.  It begins within.  Our hearts and minds are One. If we want to give to others, in challenging times, we have to start with kindness and compassion with ourselves.

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Over the decades, I have been down, broken, and fragmented by every pain imaginable.  I have been at my lowest of lows and at my worst.  But eventually I left the storm and shadows and returned to the light.  I remembered that We Are One, and that at our core, we are Love.  

Then the rainstorm came over me
And I felt my spirit break
I had lost all of my belief, you see
And realized my mistake
But time threw a prayer to me
And all around me became still

I need love, love’s divine
Please forgive me, now I see that I’ve been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don’t bend, don’t break
Show me how to live and promise me you won’t forsake
‘Cause love can help me know my name

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💜Finding Peace Together, Near The End💜

Note:  These videos were created during a very challenging time in our lives.  Not only was a family member going through constant chemo, but in addition to my career, I was the primary caretaker for a geriatric feline family member who was struggling physically.  He was a wood personality, and was on hospice care at home.  All of these circumstances were emotionally and physically challenging for everyone in our family.      

Choosing Love, kindness, and compassion was essential.

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When it comes to being the guardian of an aging animal companion or family member with health complications, even the most loving people have their limits.  The daily stresses and struggles our beloveds go through as they are aging can weigh on their caretakers, too.  Acknowledging this is essential.   

Have compassion for yourself.  Practice Self Care while you are caring. 

But Never forget this:  No matter the challenge you are facing, there is always another way of seeing your circumstances.  We are never a victim of circumstances.  Life is flowing through us.  We are One.

So then, the relationship of self to other is the complete realization that loving yourself is impossible without loving everything defined as other than yourself. ― Alan Wilson Watts

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Oh, and before you go, take a listen to this oldie but goodie… “Just The Way You Are” by Billy Joel .  It’s a beautiful reminder that we don’t need the ones we love to be anything but just the way they are.  We shouldn’t need conditions to change to love them better.  Loving them for all that they are is True Love.  This is a love that is unconditional.  

I wouldn’t leave you in times of trouble

We never could have come this far

I took the good times; I’ll take the bad times

I’ll take you just the way you are

 I said I love you and that’s forever

And this I promise from the heart

I could not love you any better

I love you just the way you are

 Just The Way You Are” by Billy Joel

Related Reading / Recommended Links & Videos:

If you would like support with your aging animal companion you are welcome to contact me.  

If you are also an Empath, HSP, Starseed, or Intuitive, you are invited to join our loving commUNITY!

You can learn more about caring for aging animals here, and force-free behavior modification here.

Be well. Be kind. We are all in this together!